Self Portrait 365|64

by Katie Paul on December 22, 2014


I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do.

I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too.

Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.

–Frida Kahlo



Self Portrait 365|63

by Katie Paul on December 21, 2014


I’m trying to be more creative. I’m not sure I’m totally happy with this, but it’s a starting point.

I’m thinking the butterflies are a bit cliché?



Self Portrait 365|62

by Katie Paul on December 20, 2014

We do a ‘spring clean’ of the house every three months – at the summer/winter solstice and spring/autumn equinox. Today was the summer solstice clean. My hands are dry and wrinkly from scrubbing. The house looks beautiful though – all fresh and sparkling.

There is a certain loveliness, I think, to performing deep cleaning in one’s underwear on a beautiful summer day.
Agnostic Zetetic



Self Portrait 365|61

by Katie Paul on December 19, 2014


When Prayers Fail

The events surrounding the Sydney Siege this week have left me a little confused. All across the world, people were praying to their gods, to the universe, to whatever force goes beyond our individual existence, for a peaceful outcome to the situation. This outpouring of positive energy across the globe did little to help. In the end, three people still died.

It made me wonder — if all that prayer, from people more spiritual than me, can’t influence what happens, what hope do I have? I’m just a single person asking for a job, a pain-free body, and for the safety of my loved ones. It seems to me I haven’t got a chance.

Perhaps it is death itself that we are powerless against. Neale Donald Walsch claims that our souls choose the moment when it is time to die, no matter what the circumstances. He believes we are born with a divine mission, and once that is accomplished, we leave our bodies behind and transition to whatever comes next. Maybe death is the one thing we can’t change no matter how hard we try. 

I’m beginning to think that even though we can’t alter the final appointment that’s written on the blueprint of our souls, we can transform the experience of those who are still living. The outpouring of communal love with the #illridewithyou movement and the expressions of respect at the Martin Place floral tribute might be what all that prayer and positive energy achieved. Perhaps without it, we would be more suspicious of each other, more frightened, and more dismissive of our need to honour the dead.

On the other side of tragedy we are stronger, kinder, more attentive and more connected. Is this what we changed by evoking the blessings of our respective gods?

I’d like to think so.



Self Portrait 365|60

by Katie Paul on December 18, 2014


To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves




Self Portrait 365|59

by Katie Paul on December 17, 2014


You’ve got this life and while you’ve got it, you’d better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold someone’s hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people’s eyes like they’re the last you’ll ever see, watch someone sleeping like there’s no time left, jump if you feel like jumping, run if you feel like running, play music in your head when there is none, and eat cake like it’s the only one left in the world.

― C. JoyBell C.