Jemma is my imaginary Facebook friend. She is not one particular person but an amalgamation of many. I’ve never met Jemma but we used to have something in common — the sport of bodybuilding.

I competed for two years — 2008 and 2009 — until the strict diet and exercise regimen turned into something more than just a hobby. I ended up with an eating disorder. But eating disorders isn’t what this post is about.

My friend Jemma is free to do anything she wants with her life. If getting contest ready year after year makes her happy then I have no problem with that. What makes me uncomfortable is that Jemma is keeping a secret from her hundreds of admiring Facebook friends.

Jemma is muscular and shredded because she uses illegal drugs.

I know this because I have watched her features change over the years. Her jaw is now strong and masculine. She looks like a man in drag.

I know this because Jemma competes in the ‘non-drug tested’ federations. Anyone who is drug free wouldn’t have a hope of winning in such an environment. It would be like choosing to ride a bicycle in a Formula One race.

I know this because Jemma has uncommonly huge shoulders and biceps covered in bulging veins.

It’s none of my business if Jemma chooses to pump hormones into her body and go through male puberty — what makes me uncomfortable is that women see her as a role model. Hundreds of comments on a recent photo say ‘You’re an inspiration!’ or ‘I want to look just like you’.

The truth is you can’t look like Jemma through diet and exercise alone.

Jemma has a secret weapon that she will never admit in public.

She’s lying to you.

And that’s what makes me uncomfortable.

What makes you uncomfortable?

{photo: clarita}

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

5 thoughts on “Uncomfortable

  1. Women lifting heavy weights is already such a touchy subject, so I can definitely see why this on top of things makes you uncomfortable. There are so many images of women, and women in film etc. with perfect, round, perky breasts, and there’s a misconception that all breasts should look like that when in reality… they don’t! I’ve met too many men – and women – who have no concept of what the average regular human being’s body looks like anymore and that makes me uncomfortable.

    1. A good point, Celynne, that I hadn’t really thought about — we’re so used to idealised versions of the human body we’ve forgotten what natural looks like. Not good!

  2. Well…. I’ve got PCOS which gives me a lot more testosterone than the average woman (about twice what it should be) so… if I’m part of Jemma, that’s why! I lose fat, get very veiny and muscular…

    However, I’m really not much into posting pics. Who needs to see that, really?
    XX You can’t assume drugs, yes?

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