Living Over t’Brush

Living Over t-Brush: Living together out of wedlock. “They are living over the brush” originates from a form of marriage when a couple held hands and jumped over a besom [traditionally constructed broom made of a bundle of twigs tied to a stouter pole] to signal their commitment to each other, because they couldn’t have a church marriage.

Four months and one day after I met Duckfish we moved in together. It wasn’t my idea. In fact, I was fiercely defending my decision to stay in the tiny one bedroom flat that was all my own.

True, Duckfish stayed over every night during the week. Granted, I ended up at his house in the suburbs every weekend. Let’s not mention the hot water system that ran cold after a three-minute shower, my possession of only one pot, one fry-pan, and no ironing board for his business shirts, grilling toast in the oven because I didn’t have a toaster or that out of the two of us, he was the only one with a vacuum cleaner.

I was living the life of a bachelor, with not much more than books, clothes and a piano making the transition from my married life to my single life. Years of possessions were left behind, and eventually thrown into the back of a garbage truck.

After five months living on my own, I didn’t want to set up house with another man.

But Duckfish and the flat we found that Saturday morning in July sealed it. In those days, I had a successful job which meant that if it didn’t work out, I could kick Duckfish out and still afford the rent on my own. Duckfish owns his house in the suburbs, so he could always go back.

The biggest concern was Duckfish had his kids stay every weekend. Not only was I giving up my independence I was signing up for the role of “Dad’s Girlfriend” four times a month.

It wasn’t easy. But it wasn’t as hard as I expected. His kids were good kids, and surprisingly, having a full-time lover and a part-time family was better than being alone.

On paper, it was all too soon. According to the experts, we were doomed to break-up.

Now the kids are gone — living overseas with their mum — and Duckfish and I have the house to ourselves. It’s been two years since we started Living Over T’Brush.

Moving in with Duckfish was possibly the biggest gamble of my life. It wasn’t what I planned but it was what I needed. These last two years have been the best years of my life.

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