From Restaurants to the Bedroom : Why Crying Anywhere and Everywhere is Recommended

crying eyesI seem to have lost my inhibitions about crying in public. I have been seen sobbing on public transport, in shopping centres and more frequently than you would expect, in restaurants.

In the beginning I blamed the non-stop flow of tears on my sadness and shock over the death of my husband. I was unable to stop crying and unwilling to keep the grief inside me so I gave in to the tears whenever and wherever. I figured if anyone had a problem with me crying, I had a very good reason. Along the way I realised that no-one really took any notice of whether I was crying or not. People are too wrapped up in their own world to really observe what anyone else is doing.

These days, I still cry in public, a lot. My tears are a result of having a heart that is unprotected and vulnerable, now all the walls have been stripped away. I have a soft, spongy, squashy centre that feels everything that comes into my world.

The other day, sitting on the edge of a boat next to Duckfish, as the wind blew through my hair and the sun glistened on the water, happy tears rolled down my face. I was struck by the beauty of the sea, the sky and the islands and the opportunity to share an adventure with a man who loves me more than any other person ever has.

I cried when Cadel Evans won the Tour de France and I’ve never even watched cycling before.

I cried at dinner because every perfect moment of love and connection reminds me that nothing lasts for ever, and a day will come when Duckfish and I will no longer be together.

I cried when I heard this song … because I’m amazing, just the way I am (and so are you).

Video link: here

I cry when I make love, because I lose all sense of who I am and melt into another body who cradles my soul in his own heart and transports us both to a place of Universal love and wholeness.

I don’t know who made up the rule that crying was weak and shameful because crying is the most pure expression of our soul. The tears that we shed return to the earth and become the rain that gives life to the rain forest and nourishment for plants and animals.

Poor Duckfish, he’s the one who is always explaining to the waiter that everything is OK. I’m not crying because the food or the service is awful. I’m crying because I am finally alive, awake and feeling after being contained and constrained for so many years. Sometimes he whispers “Don’t cry baby” but I always reply “I’m allowed, remember?” and then he nods and holds me [and makes sure my makeup isn’t all over my face afterwards].

  • When was the last time you cried? Do you think it should be more acceptable to weep whenever we want?

→ photo : mdpai75

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

13 thoughts on “From Restaurants to the Bedroom : Why Crying Anywhere and Everywhere is Recommended

    1. “Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.” Edgar Allan Poe

  1. I cried, in my car, today, on the way to see my boss.
    I am crying now more than I ever have before.
    It is good.
    I cry on my own, mostly.

  2. I am a crier. It is very cleansing. If I feel the need to shed a tear in public, then I do.

    The one thing that has changed though is why I cry. I only used to cry because of sadness or pain. Now happiness and joy can bring tears too, it is emotionally freeing and I never know when it is going to happen.

  3. I cried yesterday in a Les Mills training module in front of everyone and I don’t care. Im a big cryer (word?) (Sp?) and I love to cry, in happiness, sadness, anger…….its a great release for me and I will never tell my kids not to cry.

    1. I’ve been known to cry in RPM — there is something about physical effort that brings emotional release. I wish my parents had told me it was OK to cry instead of “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.

  4. I love this post! I want to cry more. Seriously. I had a period of my life (mostly during my eating disorder, and after I had my heart broken, and also after I was molested) that I just couldn’t cry, and it was terrible because I basically just ate away my feelings.

    It’s beautiful that you cry just because you’re alive. Being alive is worth the tears.

    1. I didn’t cry for ages either — too busy being tough and hard (and hungry and angry).

      “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.” ~ Washington Irving

  5. I woke up feeling like I needed to cry. I cried in my office at work today. It just happened. I didn’t stop it. It didn’t last that long. I was relieved. Thank you, Katie!

    1. I imagine that my tears evaporate into the clouds and are returned to the earth when it rains. Tears are good and they do bring relief!

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