I have experienced first-hand what it means to be with a man who I love emotionally, mentally and physically and there is no way I will ever settle for anything less. Maybe we’re still in the honeymoon period or maybe I don’t have the stress other people have, but after five years we are still like crazy teenagers. Of course it’s easier to keep passion alive rather than re-ignite it when it’s faded or resuscitate feelings that have long since died.
The following list of actions men can take to make a woman’s blood run hot are the things my boyfriend does that my husband didn’t. My boyfriend shows me what passion really means.
Here are a few important things some men forget to do.
SMALL ACTS OF KINDNESS
It doesn’t have to be big, expensive or a theatrical production — women appreciate small acts of kindness. Take out the rubbish, buy her a single rose (once a week for twelve weeks instead of twelve all at once), make the bed, polish her shoes, do the laundry, buy her a card, leave a love note in her handbag, text her during the day, run her a bath and light candles.
Instead of asking all the time, take control and tell her what you’ve decided. (If she says ‘no’, don’t try to talk her into it, just ask another time.) Demonstrating masculine energy attracts your woman’s feminine energy. Take the lead. (A little bit of bad-boy goes a long way!)
“Be ready to go out to dinner in thirty minutes. I’ll see you in the car.”
“It’s time to get off the computer and come and sit with me on the couch.”
“Come here — I need to kiss you.”
“Tonight I’m going to start kissing you at your toes, slowly move up your body and then …”
WORDS OF LOVE
Tell her she is beautiful, capable, smart and funny. Thank her for all the things she does for you and the kids. Tell her you love something specific about her. Every single day.
When she talks to you, stop what you’re doing and look into her eyes. Practice total silence. Just let her talk without interrupting or giving advice. Give her your full attention.
Give her a ten second kiss when you leave in the morning and when you get home at night. Not as a prelude to anything — just for the kiss itself. Be present and breathe in her energy as she breathes out.
Hold hands when you’re walking together or sitting on the couch. Play footsies under the table. Hug often. Press into her as you move past her in the kitchen.
LOOK YOUR BEST
Shave, shower and smell nice. Wear smart clothes at home sometimes instead of those baggy track suit pants. Go to the gym, cycle, run or walk and invite her to come too (get sweaty together outside the bedroom). Cut back on the booze.
BE A GOOD LOVER
Learn what turns her on. Change things up – vary positions, intensity, length, time of day and location. Talk about what she likes and would like to try. Initiate sex more often without acting crazy if she turns you down. Have non-penetrative kiss sex (snogging/pashing in bed without pressure to go all the way.) Tell her why she turns you on so much. Always go to bed naked.
BE THE MAN SHE FELL FOR
Do anything else you used to do when you started dating. Woo her and court her. Be playful and a bit goofy. Imagine you’re in a long distance relationship and today is the last day you have together …
You don’t have to be the big tough man, full of the answers to all life’s questions, all the time. Allow yourself to be emotional, vulnerable and messy. She wants to see all of you, the good and the bad, and there is nothing more attractive than a man who isn’t afraid to show his breaking heart or his wounded spirit.
Be the man she needs to make her blood run hot and her heart race. It only takes a few small things.
Ladies – is there anything you would like to add to the list?
Gentlemen – is there anything here that surprises you?