I have experienced first-hand what it means to be with a man who I love emotionally, mentally and physically and there is no way I will ever settle for anything less. Maybe we’re still in the honeymoon period or maybe I don’t have the stress other people have, but after five years we are still like crazy teenagers. Of course it’s easier to keep passion alive rather than re-ignite it when it’s faded or resuscitate feelings that have long since died.
The following list of actions men can take to make a woman’s blood run hot are the things my boyfriend does that my husband didn’t. My boyfriend shows me what passion really means.
Here are a few important things some men forget to do.
SMALL ACTS OF KINDNESS
It doesn’t have to be big, expensive or a theatrical production — women appreciate small acts of kindness. Take out the rubbish, buy her a single rose (once a week for twelve weeks instead of twelve all at once), make the bed, polish her shoes, do the laundry, buy her a card, leave a love note in her handbag, text her during the day, run her a bath and light candles.
TAKE CONTROL
Instead of asking all the time, take control and tell her what you’ve decided. (If she says ‘no’, don’t try to talk her into it, just ask another time.) Demonstrating masculine energy attracts your woman’s feminine energy. Take the lead. (A little bit of bad-boy goes a long way!)
“Be ready to go out to dinner in thirty minutes. I’ll see you in the car.”
“It’s time to get off the computer and come and sit with me on the couch.”
“Come here — I need to kiss you.”
“Tonight I’m going to start kissing you at your toes, slowly move up your body and then …”
WORDS OF LOVE
Tell her she is beautiful, capable, smart and funny. Thank her for all the things she does for you and the kids. Tell her you love something specific about her. Every single day.
LISTEN
When she talks to you, stop what you’re doing and look into her eyes. Practice total silence. Just let her talk without interrupting or giving advice. Give her your full attention.
TOUCH HER
Give her a ten second kiss when you leave in the morning and when you get home at night. Not as a prelude to anything — just for the kiss itself. Be present and breathe in her energy as she breathes out.
Hold hands when you’re walking together or sitting on the couch. Play footsies under the table. Hug often. Press into her as you move past her in the kitchen.
LOOK YOUR BEST
Shave, shower and smell nice. Wear smart clothes at home sometimes instead of those baggy track suit pants. Go to the gym, cycle, run or walk and invite her to come too (get sweaty together outside the bedroom). Cut back on the booze.
BE A GOOD LOVER
Learn what turns her on. Change things up – vary positions, intensity, length, time of day and location. Talk about what she likes and would like to try. Initiate sex more often without acting crazy if she turns you down. Have non-penetrative kiss sex (snogging/pashing in bed without pressure to go all the way.) Tell her why she turns you on so much. Always go to bed naked.
BE THE MAN SHE FELL FOR
Do anything else you used to do when you started dating. Woo her and court her. Be playful and a bit goofy. Imagine you’re in a long distance relationship and today is the last day you have together …
BE VULNERABLE
You don’t have to be the big tough man, full of the answers to all life’s questions, all the time. Allow yourself to be emotional, vulnerable and messy. She wants to see all of you, the good and the bad, and there is nothing more attractive than a man who isn’t afraid to show his breaking heart or his wounded spirit.
REMEMBER…
Be the man she needs to make her blood run hot and her heart race. It only takes a few small things.
Ladies – is there anything you would like to add to the list?
Gentlemen – is there anything here that surprises you?
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Sex should be about giving completely, by both partners. It’s easy to lose sight of that.
There must be utter surrender to the man the woman has chosen (and it is she who does the choosing—make no mistake), once she feels secure in herself to give completely.
That is when orgasmic excitement kicks in, knowing that she is controlled, yet with the freedom to be herself, to climax repeatedly with a man who wants to give her flight.
A useful book, expressing just that, called ‘Need” by Francesca Anderssen http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S1WNXJ4 is an interesting journey through a woman’s rampant search for the kind of sex she wants. A bit kinky—well very kinky really—but that stuff is mainstream now anyway. But worth reading. It really shows how a woman acts and reacts to a thoughtful lover.
Thanks for your book suggestion. I’ll check it out.
I am going to take a shot in the dark and say I am older than most. Older than the original blogger, and older than those leaving comments.
My advice. Be confident, no matter what you think you like, or what you think you flaws may be, Man or woman, be confident…..that is the biggest turn on.
Interesting comment about age, Jennifer because I am no longer a spring chicken – I’m 50.
I agree with you about confidence though. It is indeed a huge turn on.
LoL. Wow!!!! Things just got interesting. I honestly thought thought you were in your 20’s but I truly enjoy the different perspective. Hell….what do I know??
I’m flattered to be thought of as having a youthful spirit. I’m not letting go of that any time soon 😉
A woman’s g spot is between her ears, pity a lot of men never take the time to look there
A good point, well made 🙂
TAKE CHARGE – yes. I hate that “what do you want to do?” “Uh…I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
Also, the small things. Getting flowers is kind of “meh” for me. Do the dishes and vacuum? Now THAT gets me going.
not possible to get around the biological fact—that while (most) men are up for it most of the time, women by their very nature are only up for it some of the time.
That’s just the way they’re made.
Trick is to make the lady want—and want some more
to do that the man has to be creative and inventive—all the time
or the lady is just going to get bored
It’s the little things, Katie, as you said so well. Men need to read this!
Some do, ladies!
Signed,
A sensitive Southern gentleman (reformed bad boy)
Hm, I agree with a lot of these but some just totally go against the grain with me. I do not deal well with being told what to do, all those ‘take action’ comments made me uncomfortable just imagining a partner saying those things to me. I’m all for the masculine and feminine juxtaposition but I’d rather see it in ways like his carrying heavy groceries or chopping wood or enthusing about something manly and it not having to infringe on my freedom – whether or not my ability to say no to whatever it is is implied. Although it is nice to get a straight answer and not just ‘whatever you want sweetie’ which drives me just as nuts haha…
And going to bed naked! I CAN’T SLEEP NUDE! I absolutely hate it, it actually causes me to have a really unrestfull sleep and all the times I spent sleeping with my ex were nights I slept horribly because he insisted on us sleeping nude and I just couldn’t get used to it. I find it way more fun to have clothes into or under which I can slip a hand anyway, but I’m a weirdo who loves her pj’s heh.
I totally agree on the touching though, I’m big on physical contact throughout the day, even if it’s just brushing fingers on my shoulder as they walk by. Very few people have permission or reason to touch me and it’s an intimate thing for me.
Interesting line of comments
but the whole thing centres around mutual consent, each doing what the other wants/needs, but only within known parameters,
What might be a massive turn on for one, might have someone else screaming for the local militia!
My other half likes things somewhat sadistic, but not at any old time, there’s always a subtle signal..have to be aware of that.
She loves all the BDSM trimmings, being tied up–forced–ravished–whipped and so on, and can have a dozen orgasms just from being in the ‘helpless’ situation, before we do anything else.
She expects the marks to last for days. She likes looking at them in the mirror–(pervette!!)—but of course there’s always the underlying care that goes with it, she knows that’s always there no matter what happens, which is why she feels safe to let herself go with me.
A rather humbling compliment I guess
Having this done for me would make MY blood run hot, too.
I agree. I’ve read several other articles from this webpage and I happen to find a pattern where women are the focus of attention in a relationship, and where men have to do most things to make it work. I would love to read a counterpart article by the same writer. Still good material here.
These words could very well be my own. I’m 25 and have come through a nasty divorce but these words ring so true. My boyfriend does all these things and so much more and just shows what an utter waste of space my soon to be ex-husband was/is. Thank you for posting this, it was a boost we both needed at present
Guys, if you’re making out and/or making love and you have an orgasm then ALWAYS make sure she has an orgasm as well. This is one way to keep her coming back for more!
Sounds fair to me 🙂
a ratio of at least 10 female orgasms to 1 male is a sure fire guarantee of begging for more—that should be a minimum.
Discover the way the lady’s mind really works and she’ll explode before you even touch her.
so learn how to take your time guys–think of it as a long term investment
How to do that? —easy.
Two words: “Forget yourself”
I’ve read several articles from this webpage and I happen to find a pattern where women are the focus of attention in a relationship, and men have to do most things to make it work. I would love to read a counterpart article by the same writer.
If you would like to write it, without being anonymous of course, I would be happy to consider running it.