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Tag Archives: suicide

Oct42012Oct 5 2015

The Worst Thing Imaginable

by KatieP, in category Head | Mindfulness

It’s that niggling worry at the back of your mind you don’t talk about. The nightmares you have about death and dying. You try to imagine what it will feel like if (when?) something really bad happens to you.

Sep132012

RUOK won’t always make a difference

by KatieP, in category Head | Mindfulness
RUOK

I believe that we should always remind our family and friends how much we love them, but in the end, they make their own decisions.

Sep102012Sep 10 2012

A Day of Remembering

by KatieP, in category Head | Mindfulness

It is World Suicide Prevention Day today and I feel obliged to write something deep and insightful to make my husband’s death mean something.

Aug12012

Sorry I’m Not Sorry

by KatieP, in category Health | Sexuality
candle

It’s a curious kind of survivors’ guilt. Not the kind that makes me feel guilty for still being alive when someone else is dead, but the kind that makes me feel bad for not feeling bad.

Jul262012Jul 26 2012

It Could Have Been Worse

by KatieP, in category Health | Sexuality
tunnel @ head-heart-health.com

In my imagination I am lying in bed with Duckfish, asleep, in my old flat around the corner from here. It is 3am. An unusual sound wakes me. I see a familiar figure standing at the end of the bed. He is holding a gun.

Jul102012

Not the Mumma

by KatieP, in category Health | Sexuality
forgot to have children

I have never been pregnant, never had morning sickness, never breastfed and never held my own baby. There is no one on this earth who has my genetic legacy.

Jun222012Mar 20 2015

A Love Letter

by KatieP, in category Heart | Love & Romance
a love letter

I made you into the person I wanted you to be, without taking into account you might be someone completely different.

Jun142012Apr 14 2015

Short & (Bitter) Sweet

by KatieP, in category Head | Mindfulness
box of darkness

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” ― Mary Oliver

Jun112012

Eighteen Years

by KatieP, in category Health | Sexuality
wedding

Eighteen years ago on 11 June 1994 I walked down the aisle and married the man I left sixteen years later.

Apr202012Mar 18 2016

How to survive quicksand : a guide to uncomfortable feelings

by KatieP, in category Head | Mindfulness
How to survive quicksand • a guide to uncomfortable feelings

I am not asking you to like, want or enjoy uncomfortable feelings. In fact, let’s get rid of the whole acceptance word altogether (here and in the self-love world as well). Let’s make room for uncomfortable feelings instead.

Apr182012Aug 18 2015

Out of Africa – a unconventional way to deal with negative thoughts

by KatieP, in category Head | Mindfulness
Out of Africa

It’s when we get stuck in our head and what we’re thinking diminishes our experiences of the present moment that there’s a problem. Ruminating about past event or predicting future calamities can also trigger painful emotions that make us feel like shit.

Apr162012Apr 16 2012

Half birthdays, therapy, blogging & ninjas

by KatieP, in category Health | Sexuality
BB2012_Nominee

Today is my half birthday. I am forty-seven and a half today. I celebrate a half birthday on April 16 because it helps me get through April 15 which is the anniversary of my husband’s suicide.

Apr52012

April

by KatieP, in category Health | Sexuality
cup

April – It begins with an anniversary — our first date was two years ago today. But when this day arrives, I know that ten days later it will be the anniversary of the day that changed everything.

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Author – Katie Paul

I have survived adoption, bulimia and the suicide of my husband, more or less unscathed. I attribute my resilience to my guardian angels Bob, Fred and Hugo.

I used to be a stage manager but gave it all up to create beautiful images and to write about loss, love, lust and longing. I get a bit raunchy at times because that’s the way life should be – full of big juicy moments. I'm sure Bob, Fred and Hugo agree.

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