I spent a long time thinking that relationships should be the variety that my parents have — a polite, comfortable, solid, long-term, come hell or high water kind of love. But something was wrong. There was an emptiness that couldn’t be filled by travelling the world, succeeding at work, sculpting my body into a size 8 or being able to buy whatever I wanted. I never felt like I belonged, I never connected with another human being.
A strong and yet supple sense of who you are encourages self-reliance and autonomy. It means you are confident that the answers lie inside you instead of with someone else. It allows you to lay open your heart and fall into the heart of another without losing yourself. It lets you love your dark places without fear that they will drive people away.
Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you have to inhabit your masculine essence. On the contrary. It means that the feminine essence is to be celebrated as beautiful and precious. It is stripping away this belief that living from our hearts and identifying emotionally with the world is less important than being indestructible and driven.
Looking back, I can make the excuse that I was in shock and didn’t know what I was doing, but all I knew in that moment was that life was impermanent and everything could end in a heartbeat. There was no time to lose, there was no reason to pretend any longer. Sex and death. Connection in the face of disconnection. Love is all that matters.
When we are in a relationship there are three things that reinforce to us that someone is deeply in love with us. In NLP, this is called a deep love strategy. If you want to make sure that your partner continues feeling loved and connected with you, you need to find out what their deep love strategy is.
I had known Duckfish for precisely 6 days. In those 6 days we had emailed, chatted on MSN, talked on the phone, had a cyber-date (video MSN), kissed for hours and made love once after which he jetted off to Melbourne at 4am in the morning. The next time we spoke after our liaison he… Read More
Sometimes I still feel like pinching myself — this love affair with the Duck Fish Man seems like a dream. Once I wrote : There is a chance, still, that I could find that person who simply makes it hard to breathe. The way his energy fills the room, the unspoken kindness in his eyes,… Read More