When I was a kid, my father, a builder, came home from work early, almost straight after we got home from school. When he finished putting away his wooden ruler, his mitre box and his hammers, he bundled us into the car. My brother and I wore faded swimmers and carried our towels. Our beach… Read More
As someone who has both outgrown religion, and who has been swept up in an affair, I am fascinated when I hear of a similar experience. Austin’s story is particularly interesting to me because he tells it from a male point of view. If you have ever wondered what goes on inside the mind of the opposite sex,… Read More
Valentine’s Day sucks. Which may sound odd coming from someone who ceaselessly praises love and sex, but it is true. I am not a fan. My mother and father were married in a small Baptist Church on Valentine’s Day in 1959. They are no longer together. They are still technically married but my father now lives in a… Read More
I spent a long time thinking relationships should be the variety my parents have — a polite, comfortable, solid, long-term, come hell or high water kind of love. When I got married I thought I was signing up for one of those kinds of relationships. We were friends, we lived in the same house, we… Read More
Some folk leave their marriage or long-term relationship with elegance and grace. Some of us have catastrophic break ups that leave us cowering under the covers for months, if not years. When we move on to a new relationship, we bring with us a truck load of heavy baggage. And as our new relationship turns… Read More
I asked a group of 268 sassy women to tell me the one thing they wished men (or their sexual partners of either sex) knew about them. Here are some of their answers. 1 — Just because you think something should feel good doesn’t mean it makes me feel good. 2 — Sometimes I just want to talk about my… Read More
My momma told me that if my husband ever hit me, I should pack my bags, leave and never look back. I believed her — I was certain I would never let anyone physically hurt me. He never raised his hand and he never raised his voice. His words were delivered with quiet precision, like clenched fists in… Read More
When I published my post I Had an Affair and I’m Not Ashamed, I received a lot of hate mail. One friend posted on my Facebook wall about her husband’s infidelity and then promptly unfriended me. Another spoke of how her cheating father had left a trail of destruction she still had trouble forgiving. I understand that affairs can cause… Read More
If I had been born at a different time you might have stoned me, or forced me to wear a scarlet letter upon my dress. I am the women you talk about in hushed tones. I am the kind of women you hope is never alone with your husband. I had an affair. The circumstances… Read More
I used to be a master of distraction (weight loss was my favourite diversion) so it took me a long to realise my marriage had disintegrated while I hadn’t been paying attention. I remember sitting in front of the computer late one night Googling “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” I wanted a check list, or… Read More
I was taught at church that having sexual desires and/or attracting sexual desire was a sin. They gave it a special name — the lust of the flesh. Human sexuality was seen as a rampaging carnal impulse which must be abolished at all costs. Impure thoughts, even without any action, had the potential to cast you… Read More
It was my husband’s day off and he seemed in a pleasant mood. Mid-morning — late enough for him to be awake and early enough for him not to have started drinking — he was in the kitchen tidying up from the night before. Years of beer and takeaway had made him heavy and slow.… Read More
The 15th April, 2010 was a day not much different to today. The autumn sun had slipped lower in the sky, making the day cool enough for a jacket. As I was putting my mascara on in the bathroom, ahead of a normal day at work, the telephone rang. The man on the other end of… Read More