How to Find True Love After Divorce, written by Jenny Kanevsky, first appeared on the Good Men Project. This time you get to rewrite the rules. It’s ominous in post-divorce dating land; there are too many online dating sites to count, and apparently, if you do venture out, there are profile writing coaches to aid… Read More
Why I Stay Married to a Gay Man is a personal, intimate story from an anonymous author. I married young, at 19, bright-eyed and hopeful, and in a few months, we will celebrate our 29th anniversary. Like all marriages, we have had our share of happy and sad, growing together as the years passed us by.… Read More
Colum McCann, author of Thirteen Ways of Looking, shares some advice for the young (and not so young) writer. It is also wonderful advice for anyone who wants to live life with purpose and meaning. Colum McCann’s Letter to a Young Writer Do the things that do not compute. Be earnest. Be devoted. Be subversive of… Read More
Why have I survived when there are so many others struggling with their pain? Why can’t I help them? Can I give away some of my happiness to someone else?
There is no trick to holding on to something from your childhood – you simply have to refuse to give it up. The one possession I’ve owned for close to fifty years is my pillow.
Late one night, I watched a documentary about Meerkats. One of the adult males had been bitten by a snake during the night. The Meerkat, named Ernesto by the filmmakers, crawled out of the burrow, barely able to move. His face was black and distended, his eye swollen shut. As the creature lay panting for breath,… Read More
My earliest memory has been grafted on to my mind like a branch on to a tree. There is no way I could remember my first moments of life, nor the day, thirteen days later when I was adopted.
I have always been an expert sleeper. I’m one of those people who wake up in the same position they went to sleep without any recollection of the hours in between. I’ve been known to sleep through earthquakes, storms and noisy parties. I have taken for granted my ability to sleep.
It’s that niggling worry at the back of your mind you don’t talk about. The nightmares you have about death and dying. You try to imagine what it will feel like if (when?) something really bad happens to you.
Sometimes when you achieve your goals — the man, the holiday, the house and the body — you discover that it’s not as satisfying as you hoped. So you move on the next thing … praying this time you’ll get what you need.
Past, present and future. Am I supposed to give up my memories and my dreams so I can live just in this moment?
There is a time for survival, when we acknowledge the pain and trauma of our lives and search for others in the same situation to give us comfort and support. But labelling ourselves as survivors is like picking at an open wound. We prod and pry inside for the reasons while reliving the details of our story over and over again. Focussing on the pain, wearing it as name tag keeps us in the same place.
Destiny is a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequences. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side by side horses – one foot is on the… Read More