I’ve come up with my own reasons why Mr Smith’s kind of marriage isn’t for me.
1. I am an independent, self-sufficient woman and I don’t need anyone else to make me happy. Being in a loving relationship with my boyfriend brings joy to my life, but I know I could be happy on my own.
I am attracted to a particular type of man. Are you?
Love is difficult when we first fall in love– when we don’t know what the future might hold — and it is the most exciting. Difficult love reminds us that some things are worth fighting for. And it makes us appreciate the easier times because they are fleeting.
My question is … how do you know if a guy is ‘the one’? Do you think there really is just one you can love with both your heart and your head?
Part of me realises that being in love means that my heart will get broken one day. We’ll either break up or one of us will die leaving the other behind. It’s a pain waiting for me somewhere off in the future.
I made you into the person I wanted you to be, without taking into account you might be someone completely different.
Everyone doubted we would last; everyone thought we were hasty, irresponsible, rushing into it, fuelled by lust, doomed to fail. But we were going to prove them wrong, laugh and look back when we were old and wrinkly and fat from eating too much cheese and drinking too much wine.
“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” is not said to encourage you to leave what you have for what appears better — instead it warns you that whatever is out of your reach is always going to look better than what you have, but it will let you down.
The first time around I chose the wrong man. I didn’t know it at the time because I was young and believed things about relationships that turned out to be untrue. In hindsight, I can see why my husband and I were never going to work. An intimate relationship with another person rests on four… Read More
I spent a long time thinking that relationships should be the variety that my parents have — a polite, comfortable, solid, long-term, come hell or high water kind of love. But something was wrong. There was an emptiness that couldn’t be filled by travelling the world, succeeding at work, sculpting my body into a size 8 or being able to buy whatever I wanted. I never felt like I belonged, I never connected with another human being.
Real love is looking into the eyes of another person and without words or touch, reaching into their heart and feeling their essence. It is calming yourself and holding on to yourself while standing within another’s arms. It is drowning in emotion while never losing sight of who you are.
Looking back, I can make the excuse that I was in shock and didn’t know what I was doing, but all I knew in that moment was that life was impermanent and everything could end in a heartbeat. There was no time to lose, there was no reason to pretend any longer. Sex and death. Connection in the face of disconnection. Love is all that matters.
I think that’s what New Year’s Resolutions are about: they’re lists of all the ways this year that I will collect and claw and accrue more shiny things to attract more attention and followers and lovers and mates so that I will be loved and happy. If being loved and appreciated is what you want – that’s what I want… Read More