My momma told me that if my husband ever hit me, I should pack my bags, leave and never look back. I believed her — I was certain I would never let anyone physically hurt me. He never raised his hand and he never raised his voice. His words were delivered with quiet precision, like clenched fists in… Read More
When my guy was struggling and fearing “The Relationship”, I almost suggested that instead of having a relationship we should have a pirate ship. Adventure. Booty. Breaking the rules, braving the storms. We sail wherever we want, together. ~ Kelly Diels • Cleavage My boyfriend and I don’t have a relationship in the traditional sense of… Read More
How do you know someone loves you? No really, how do you know? Can you remember a time when you felt totally loved? When was the moment you knew for sure? What did that person do to convince you? I’m guessing you came up with an answer along the lines of (a) it was the way… Read More
I have experienced first-hand what it means to be with a man who I love emotionally, mentally and physically and there is no way I will ever settle for anything less. Maybe we’re still in the honeymoon period or maybe I don’t have the stress other people have, but after five years we are still like… Read More
I used to be a master of distraction (weight loss was my favourite diversion) so it took me a long to realise my marriage had disintegrated while I hadn’t been paying attention. I remember sitting in front of the computer late one night Googling “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” I wanted a check list, or… Read More
It was my husband’s day off and he seemed in a pleasant mood. Mid-morning — late enough for him to be awake and early enough for him not to have started drinking — he was in the kitchen tidying up from the night before. Years of beer and takeaway had made him heavy and slow.… Read More
Before I was married, I spent most of my time sampling a smorgasbord of lovers, without feeling any need to restrict my appetites to only one person. During those heady days of sexual freedom, there was always the thought in the back of my mind that I would one day ‘settle down’. I never questioned the expectation that… Read More
As soon as the taxi dropped me at home, I telephoned my mother to let her know I was safe and sound. “How long were you away this time?” she asked. “Nine weeks,” I said. “We had rehearsals in Tokyo and then performed at the Singapore Arts Festival.” There was a long silence on the other end… Read More
First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love. ― Maya Angelou My lovely boyfriend went out early this morning and bought me flowers and a card. He’s a bit of alright.
Why have I survived when there are so many others struggling with their pain? Why can’t I help them? Can I give away some of my happiness to someone else?
It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to you, but today it is twenty years since we were married, so you’re on my mind.
The last four years, since you’ve been gone, have passed by so quickly, and there’s so much you’ve missed. Why, just yesterday, Rik Mayall passed away. I cried for the loss of his smile in this world, and because you would never know. Perhaps you do know. Maybe he’s with you somewhere, chuckling to himself about all the fuss he’s caused.
Who are my ancestors? The parents and grandparents of my adopted parents, or the family of the woman who gave birth to me almost fifty years ago?
As well as being an actual widow, I have become a work widow. My boyfriend works in other cities and other countries more than he is home. I am often left by myself in an empty house.
