When I published my post I Had an Affair and I’m Not Ashamed, I received a lot of hate mail. One friend posted on my Facebook wall about her husband’s infidelity and then promptly unfriended me. Another spoke of how her cheating father had left a trail of destruction she still had trouble forgiving. I understand that affairs can cause… Read More
On my left wrist, scratched into my skin is a red heart with angel’s wings. I had it done on my 45th birthday at The Illustrated Man. It was the last birthday I spent with my late husband. His birthday present to me was a fountain fashioned from a vase and a bowl, cobbled together to… Read More
If I had been born at a different time you might have stoned me, or forced me to wear a scarlet letter upon my dress. I am the women you talk about in hushed tones. I am the kind of women you hope is never alone with your husband. I had an affair. The circumstances… Read More
After I finished writing yesterday’s post on the three types of love strategies between a couple, it occurred to me that the same principles apply to self-love. If you know how you receive love from others, you know how to receive it from yourself Many people’s self-love efforts aren’t making any difference because people are following advice based… Read More
How do you know someone loves you? No really, how do you know? Can you remember a time when you felt totally loved? When was the moment you knew for sure? What did that person do to convince you? I’m guessing you came up with an answer along the lines of (a) it was the way… Read More
As part of the discussion around legalising same-sex marriage in Australia, an American woman named Katy Faust has been playing the ‘rights of the children’ card. She wants us to believe all children need a biological mother and father to have a ‘good’ childhood. Aside from the fact it is an absurd notion, the argument has a… Read More
I have experienced first-hand what it means to be with a man who I love emotionally, mentally and physically and there is no way I will ever settle for anything less. Maybe we’re still in the honeymoon period or maybe I don’t have the stress other people have, but after five years we are still like… Read More
Personal boundaries are filters that protect us from behaviours we find unacceptable. A personal boundary is a rule YOU say cannot be broken without consequence. Healthy people have all sorts of personal boundaries (rules) that help insulate them from others’ negative words and actions. We cannot control someone’s thoughts and opinions but we can limit the amount of exposure we… Read More
The voice in my head tells me that I’m not good enough, that I could do better, if only I worked on being more loving, compassionate, patient, giving … (insert your word here). And there are people who seem to agree with the thoughts that come to me in the middle of the night. And… Read More
I used to be a master of distraction (weight loss was my favourite diversion) so it took me a long to realise my marriage had disintegrated while I hadn’t been paying attention. I remember sitting in front of the computer late one night Googling “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” I wanted a check list, or… Read More
It was late and I was just going to bed when I received an email from Jen. The subject was “HELP” with a million exclamation marks following it. I couldn’t ignore it. She was in another time zone and just starting her day. “Your dating profile advice was too good,” she wrote. “I’ve got a date tonight… Read More
The only thing more talked about on women’s blogs than children is The Change. Somewhere around your fifties, you stop having your period and start having things that they call Symptoms. These are physical and psychological changes that seem to have the power to wreck lives and signal the start of a downward spiral into… Read More
Women are like trees. As they grow in years they also grow in their power to provide shelter and to live in full bloom. Some people don’t like trees. Trees strike them as messy — they sway and grow chaotically against the perpendicular lines of houses and fences. Some people want to cut down trees, make them quiet, and make… Read More