Valentine’s Day sucks. Which may sound odd coming from someone who ceaselessly praises love and sex, but it is true. I am not a fan. My mother and father were married in a small Baptist Church on Valentine’s Day in 1959. They are no longer together. They are still technically married but my father now lives in a… Read More
You’ve been dating him for a few months now and things are going well. Or so you thought until one morning, out of the blue, you get a text message saying he doesn’t want to see you any more. When you call him, the only reason he gives is because he can’t see a future with… Read More
You’re lying wide awake in bed, listening to your partner snore. He has drifted blissfully off to sleep in a post-coital haze of satisfaction. But you’re not so lucky. You are quietly seething. Your partner didn’t give you an orgasm and you’re not happy about it. But you have no right to be upset. Your partner… Read More
Phew! You can breathe a sigh of relief — you have made it through a bad breakup or divorce and you are ready to face the world again. You put your profile up on an online dating site and wait for the invitations to roll in. But things are not as you imagined. The men… Read More
Colum McCann, author of Thirteen Ways of Looking, shares some advice for the young (and not so young) writer. It is also wonderful advice for anyone who wants to live life with purpose and meaning. Colum McCann’s Letter to a Young Writer Do the things that do not compute. Be earnest. Be devoted. Be subversive of… Read More
I spent a long time thinking relationships should be the variety my parents have — a polite, comfortable, solid, long-term, come hell or high water kind of love. When I got married I thought I was signing up for one of those kinds of relationships. We were friends, we lived in the same house, we… Read More
I had always thought it would take an apocalypse for my boyfriend to stop loving me. But here we were breaking up over something I never saw coming.
Roger intrigued me from the first moment I saw his on-screen name — Amare Sine Timore. I didn’t know what it meant and he wouldn’t tell me. I looked it up. Amare Sine Timore means ‘to love without fear’ in Latin. He had been emailing me daily for more than a week quoting John Keats’… Read More
Some folk leave their marriage or long-term relationship with elegance and grace. Some of us have catastrophic break ups that leave us cowering under the covers for months, if not years. When we move on to a new relationship, we bring with us a truck load of heavy baggage. And as our new relationship turns… Read More
In the world of modern sex and relationships, it’s difficult to follow the rules if you don’t know what they are. Are you a well-mannered lover?
Sex and relationship coaches are a dime a dozen. They have slick websites, gorgeously styled graphics and flattering head-shots. They are usually one of those beautiful people who could probably still look attractive after being drenched in an unexpected rain storm and then falling in a muddy puddle. Although I don’t fit the ‘beautiful people’ category, I have… Read More
In general terms (taking into account the wide range of human experiences), there is a huge difference between the way men and women view sexual intimacy. Most women need to feel loved before they are ready to get sexy with a man. Most men see sex as an expression of love and don’t feel truly… Read More
They say that being grown-up means you have survived at least three disasters and one apocalypse. Quite often, that apocalypse involves a broken heart. There are very few women venturing into love the second (or third or fourth…) time around who don’t have deep emotional scars. They are a paradox of strength and vulnerability. But they… Read More