Self Loathing to Self Love in Five Simple Steps

self loathing to self love in 5 steps

For those of us who struggle with thoughts about our size and shape, sometimes we don’t like our bodies and our behaviour very much. It seems like an impossible task to transform our self loathing into self-love, but it is possible with these five simple steps.

I started to write some examples of the self loathing dialogue I occasionally have in my head and I found I couldn’t do it. It felt as wrong as criticising my closest friend. I guess it goes to prove that the shift from loathing to love is not always huge and momentous, but subtle and gradual.

When I look in the mirror and see a part of my body I don’t like, I run through these five steps in my head. This following example is the kind of internal conversation I might have about my belly.

1. Positive Intent (the gift)

Recognise the gift your body is giving you.

My belly fat is protecting and cushioning my intestines and reproductive system. By having a higher body fat percentage my hormones are functioning as they should, enabling me to have a normal transition through perimenopause. I fit my skin and the wrinkly empty skin folds are gone.

2. Forgiveness

Acknowledge the way you have treated your body in the past.

I am sorry that I have been either starving you or stuffing you with toxic food and that I have accused you of betraying me. I now realise that my body is a reflection of my thoughts and beliefs so I was hating myself. Please forgive me for treating you so badly.

3. Gratitude

Notice the miracles your body performs even though you have abused it.

I am so thankful that even though I have treated you so badly you are still healthy and functioning. I am amazed at your ability to heal a lifetime of digestive and hormonal issues within a short amount of time. Thank you for your forgiveness and that’s it’s not too late to take great care of you.

4. Self Acceptance

Set your intention to be OK with where you are right now.

Even though I would still like a flat, toned stomach, I choose to accept that you are the perfect size and shape for me in this moment. I acknowledge that trying to change you through criticism and disgust has only worked temporarily. Even when you were flat enough to see my abs, I still wasn’t happy. I now choose to feel happy, calm and beautiful because of who I am, not the shape of my tummy.

5. Unconditional Self Love

Choose to love yourself the way you love your friends, your children and your fur babies ~ simply for who they are, not what they do or don’t do. Love yourself the same way.

I breathe love and light into my belly because it is perfectly. I promise never to punish or criticise you again. You are beautiful and magical because you express my divinity. Without having a body I couldn’t see the beauty of a sunrise, hear the sound of laughter, taste the exquisite juiciness of a peach, smell fresh cut grass or feel the kiss of a child.

I offer you unconditional love and knowing that you are the best you can be at this moment in time and that your flaws make you special and unique. I love that when we are at a peace with each other the possibilities are limitless. I love being me no matter what.

self love T

What kind of internal conversation are you having with your body?

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

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