This is Part #4 of a series. Read Part #1 | Part #2 | Part #3 here.
The final section of your profile is in two sections — (1) what kind of relationship you want, and (2) a call to action.
It’s Time to Get Sexy
Although I’m not speaking for all men (because God knows they are all different), most men want to be with a woman because she offers him more than his mates do. So far you’ve talked about all the things you could do together — hiking, cycling, running, reading, etc. — all things your potential date could feasibly do with his male friends. As a woman, your point of difference is your offer of intimacy. In some (most?) men’s minds, this means sex.
If you don’t want someone to kiss you, hold you, and ravish you so completely that you forget your own name, then internet dating is probably not for you. So from here on in I’m assuming you’re up for a bit of sexy time.
You need to suggest you’re a hot blooded woman who craves sensual pleasure without sounding like a porn star. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No.
Here’s an example:
Life is a wonderful wild ride, full of sensual pleasure. There’s a space beside me waiting to be filled with a man who wants nothing more than to
see me writhe in ecstasy, kiss me into oblivion, brush his lips against the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist.
This is a tease, so a couple of sentences is enough. Use sensory language — tasting, touching, smelling — to describe what you want him to do to you. The subtext is that you expect your lover to take the lead. Of course, we all know good sex requires mutual participation, but suggesting he is the one in control will weed out the men who want their partner to do all the work from the very beginning.
Warning: If you’re interested in getting married and having kids, please don’t bring it up in your profile. First of all, you will cut yourself off from a whole range of wonderful experiences if you limit yourself to only ‘the marrying kind.’
Secondly, some men won’t know they want to marry you until they meet you. Love plays strange tricks when two people are meant to be together. The marriage conversation should be saved until you’re at least six months into a relationship.
Thirdly, it puts too much pressure on everyone. You can’t have any fun if you’re worried about coming across as wife material. Think of your dates as practice, research, or a slightly naughty game. The serious stuff can wait.
Download the entire series in a 17-page report by CLICKING HERE
The Call to Action
At the end of your profile, you need to invite the person reading it to take action. Ask him to contact you — but with a twist. Suggest that you might not get back to him straight away because you’re off living your life. He’s a hunter, so let him hunt. You’re the most beautiful, perfect goddess he’s ever seen, so you’re hardly going to be desperate.
If you think you’re that man, please get in touch. But don’t worry if I don’t get back to you straight away, there isn’t any internet coverage in the middle of nowhere [from our example of the nature-loving woman].
If you’ve read this entire series and are ready to have a go at re-drafting your profile, why not get in touch? Send your new version through to me and I’ll have a look at it. You can use my email: email@example.com or use the contact page. I’ll post the best examples here so others can see how it works.
If you use this method and post your profile on a dating site, please let me know how you go. I would love to hear about your results.
10 thoughts on “How to Write an Online Dating Profile • The Finale”
Hi Katie! I’m in an exhilarating, satisfying marriage to an adorable, talented man, but if I wasn’t and was looking for someone new, I’d be all over this series! Awesome advice and so actionable you’d have to try not to get a move on.
You’re very lucky – adorable and talented – my two favourite things!
Also, meant to tell you I spent a year in your wonderful country the summer after I graduated from high school. I lived in two small towns about 2 hours north of Sydney: Muswellbrook and Denman, and made it down to Sydney a couple of times. It was by far the most wonderful year of my life. It hurt like hell to leave (especially because there was a boy involved) and I vowed to go back. Haven’t made it yet, but my life’s not over yet, right?
(a) Your partner is a very lucky man.
(b) You’re an exceptional writer.
(c) If I ever get over my antipathy to online dating, I will be following this to the letter.
Thank you so much for writing this!
Cheers Vince. Thanks for your comment and your wonderful support x
I love this series!! I’ve been expermienting online dating for a while but never sure what to write on my profile!
I’ve loved it this much that I’ve blogged about my experience – http://www.thepinpicker.co.uk/online-dating-whole-new-world/
Thanks again Katie Paul!!
So thatвЂ™s where the trouble lies!
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