How to Write an Online Dating Profile • The Middle

This is Part #3 of a series. Read Part #1 and Part #2 here.

Your Dating Profile • the middle • getting specific about who you want • from

The middle section of your profile should deal with the specifics about the kind of partner you want. This shouldn’t be very difficult.

Or should it?

It turns out that most women want pretty much the same thing — a man who is good-looking, intelligent, funny, baggage free, financially stable, emotionally available, socially brilliant and geographically nearby. To be honest, we’re all looking for perfection.

Sadly, perfection doesn’t exist, and if it does, the perfect men have already been snatched up by the perfect women. The pool of single perfect men is barely more than a puddle.

Most good, kind, lovable, suitable men are far from perfect. They have faults. The fun part (which happens once you meet in person) is working out which faults you can live with and which ones you can’t. Love forgives a multitude of sins.

And most good, kind, lovable, suitable men feel a little inadequate when they read the list of requirements women post on their profiles.

Download the entire series in a 17-page report by [thrive_2step id=’18368′]CLICKING HERE[/thrive_2step]

Just Two Things

The profile I recommend treads lightly when it comes to specifics. For the first part, choose two things only. No more and no less.

Here’ s the example:

I’m not looking for the perfect man — perfection is boring. If you’re funny [or your most important character trait] then I already like you [dispelling your potential partner’s fear of inadequacy], and if you’re kind [or another character trait of your choice] as well then I can’t wait to meet you.

It helps to avoid negative language — for example ‘If you’re not fat’ or ‘If you don’t take yourself too seriously’. If you want to attract what you want, leave out what you don’t want.

The Qualifier

Of course, two words (e.g. funny and kind) are not enough to weed out the men you will never be interested in. To do this, you continue weaving your story.

The next section is the only place your can state what you don’t want, but you do it in such a way as to reflect positively on what you want. In the following example, the subtext is that your potential date does have a job, car and house but you aren’t that interested in any of them necessarily being ‘top of the range.’

I don’t care about your job, your car, or your house — I’ve already got those things. What I’m missing is someone to run forest trails with me, someone who knows that 10 burpees really counts as 20, and someone who will stay up all night reading the latest John Grisham with me [I love running, cross fit and reading {substitute your favourite author}]. You get bonus points for tattoos [substitute your preferred, preferably unusual, physical trait] and sharing my belief that the universe is full of magic [substitute your preferred spiritual persuasion].

→ Click here for Part #4 — the finale.

Do you have any questions? Please feel free to ask

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

19 thoughts on “How to Write an Online Dating Profile • The Middle

  1. This works! i had such a fun online dating experience I always recommend it. But you have to be smart in writing your profile and how you proceed.
    Good counsel here!

  2. I’m loving this series Katie! Internet dating has turned into a scary, depressing thing for me lately but you’ve actually made me think that if my profile was written as you suggest, I might actually find someone worth keeping 🙂

  3. Stumbled upon this series at exactly the right time! Got out of a relationship that was good, but not good enough, 8 months ago and am ready to look again.

    I reread my profile and it makes me sound I am a personality-less nerd. The female version of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Good grief, that is not what I want to send out to cyberspace!!

    I am going to try drafting something new tonight and look forward to part 4.

  4. Katie,
    Loved Loved reading this post. I have written and rewritten my dating profile and I still feel like it needs a lot of help. I would love if you could help me out a little.


      1. Do you have a suggestion for coming up with a theme. I’m the type of girls that likes to do things like indoor bouldering, running, working out, reading, being with family and friends, cooking. I’m all over the place.

        1. You could either (a) choose one randomly (ask your friends what you’re famous for) — I don’t think it matters that much, (b) use your multitude of interests as your theme — maybe that you get bored easily or you have a short attention span? or (c) use two themes — your away from home adventures (climbing, running, training) and your stay at home endeavours (family, cooking, reading). There really isn’t any wrong way to do it.

  5. I just found this *super* helpful site after months of nothing on the dating site, and feeling helpless. I’m off to re draft! Thank you so much!

  6. How would you suggest putting in the qualifier section something about a man being willing to hang out with my son?

  7. Help!!! Ive rewritten and rewritten my profile with no luck. I love sports, music, movies and the beach. How do i even come up with a great profile to catch his eye???

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