Three Years Sober

by KatieP, in category Health | Midlife

Biennale33Today I have been sober for three years. My addiction wasn’t drugs or alcohol but using food and exercise as a means of both punishment and comfort. I have/had bulimia. I haven’t binged or restricted, or used exercise or laxatives to purge for three years.

Life is so different now than it was in the grips of my disease. My weight stays stable around the high sixties (kilos), I eat only two meals a day, I walk, cycle and do yoga off and on and I wear either a size ten or a size twelve (AUS) depending on the brand. When I look in the mirror I don’t see fat, stretch marks or cellulite, I see a woman who looks pretty good for someone close to forty-eight years old.

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Much harder than counting calories and going to the gym six days a week.

Being free meant finding out who I really was, what I wanted in my life and refusing to lie to myself any more.

And it means loving myself — flaws and all.

For years I spent every day looking at the numbers on the scale, measuring my food and making sure my heart rate was in the right zone at the gym. These days, I stay in bed and snuggle with my man, eat whatever I feel like, and write stories in my head (all the time).

I’m proud to be clean. I’m proud to be me. I am so blessed.

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

20 thoughts on “Three Years Sober”

  1. Beautiful Katie, this is so fantastic… I am on my way to this place. I love what I see in the mirror, buy size 16, which may or may not reduce as I continue working on non hungry eating… I have never felt happier since giving up the dieting, the constant weighing and all that goes along with that 🙂

  3. Well done, Kathie!! What a difficult journey for you over a lot of years. You have my utmost admiration for getting to the place where you now are. A hard road; but one that has given you new insights, tolerance, wisdom and, above all, character. I’m sure you’re feeling so pleased, delighted, peaceful, to be in the place where you are. xx

  4. Great job Katie! You are a beautiful person inside and out, – looking fantastic by the way 🙂 3 years, awesome achievement!

    Pip x

  5. Unfortunately I am the other way around and trying to give up my addiction to food as an emotional crutch. But well done, Kathie. It’s GOOD to be healthy and happy. The two are not mutually exclusive and you’re proof of that. 🙂

    1. Hey Ren
      I didn’t “give up” my addiction — instead I found something else to focus on (loving relationships, spirituality and creativity) and displaced food as the only way to feel good. Good luck with your own journey. K x

  6. Great to hear Katie. I’m on my way but no where near it yet. First time in 20 years I’m not on a diet. Not counting calories. Gone a bit Primal/Paleo/Gluten Free as it seems to really work for me, but still not a diet. It is just a term to describe to others what food seems to suit me. The main thing is giving up wheat/gluten because I feel so good when I don’t eat it.
    But I don’t go all “aaaggh” if I have a few pieces of pasta in my soup when i’m out. Most importantly I am eliminating processed food from my diet. Food tastes so much nicer when you are eating to fuel your body, butter, natural oils and all. One thing I’ve noticed is that my skin is so much better.
    Unfortunately people continue to think I should be on a diet as, yes I am very overweight. But I am eating for my health, the weight is steadily coming off because I am eating only when I am hungry, not eating because it’s lunch time. I am eating so many veggies, and great protein, it’s great.

    1. Thanks Erika
      I am a fan of the whole food/primal approach too and I try not to eat too much wheat. But there is always room for cheese cake, caramel slice and chocolate. Funny thing is that once I have a few bites I don’t feel like the rest. I truly believe in listening to my body. It never makes a mistake. Not giving up or eliminating, just making the best choice I can. Sounds like you’re finding your way 🙂

Comments are closed.