Always a Cheat?

stolen kiss{photo source}

One single kiss and now Kristen Stewart is branded a cheat, her reputation tarnished forever. I know how she feels. It all started with a kiss for me as well …

In the first minutes of 2010, under the light of a full moon and amidst the spectacular New Year’s Eve fireworks Sydney Harbour is famous for, I found myself in the arms of a man who wasn’t my husband. By body didn’t hesitate to respond as he kissed me on the lips while my mind kept telling me to stop. I was married to someone else. This was cheating. The kind of cheating I’ve been taught is unforgivable.

I would love to tell you that we only went as far as that kiss on New Year’s Eve – a momentary lapse of judgement blamed on too much wine and the magic of the fireworks. But the kiss was just the beginning. Within weeks I was spending stolen hours in hotel rooms exploring the nakedness of a man who was the husband of someone else. I wanted to feel guilty, ashamed and disgusted with myself, but instead I revelled in the delight of being desired.

‘Once a cheat, always a cheat’ my mother used to tell me in those dating years before I got married. ‘If he’s done it once, he’ll do it again,’ is the advice of all the relationship experts. And here I am in my forties, officially a cheater. Does that mean I’m going to do it again? Am I untrustworthy?

→ Read the rest of this article I wrote over at Coping With Jane

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About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing