Sometimes I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality. Sailing down a stream that split into two some time ago. Is there another me in a parallel universe who made a different decision?
Is she still in that house in Princes Street with the sea grass matting that smells of the previous tenant’s dog? Is her husband still drinking tall bottles of beer every night and calling her selfish. Has she given up on ever feeling special?
My heart breaks for her. She dreams of another life that she is too scared to go after.
In the back of my mind I worry my current experience is the one that isn’t real. What happens when I wake up and find myself back in the marriage, the job, and the self-loathing I walked away from? Surely I can’t deserve all this happiness …
But my musings are misguided. Even if I’d stayed locked in my obsession with achieving the perfect body, even if I had never kissed another man on New Year’s Eve, even if I’d never packed up my belongings and moved into the tiny flat overlooking the harbour, things would no longer be the same.
Life doesn’t stay the same. The stream constantly flows around rocks and branches and veers off in different directions.
Even if I hadn’t done any of the things I did, things would still be different. The past, as I imagine it, no longer exists. The only thing certain is change.
The other me is now living in a different reality too. One where things are better, or maybe they are worse.
I no longer believe that doing nothing in the midst of unhappiness means life will stay the same. One simple action, one small decision will spark a course correction that will launch you into a parallel life.
The question is … are you steering the boat or being swept along by the current? Is it your choice or the whim of the gods of change?
This is the only life you’ve got. Nothing stays the same. You can decide where you’re headed or just wait and see. Either way, the future is guaranteed to be a different reality to the one you have now. Which parallel life do YOU choose?