I used to have a problem … in fact I used to have a few. I think that’s why people used to read my blog — I was a train crash.
Food – dieting, competing, bingeing, starving, hating myself and then hating the diet industry.
Sex – a sexless marriage, a sexy affair, internet dating, leaving one man and finding another.
Death – the death of a marriage, a husband, a career and an entire identity.
My problem is … I don’t have one
These days my biggest problem is I don’t have one. I have everything I ever dreamed of. I’ve never been happier.
I’m no longer angry. I don’t buy things to make me happy so our house is truly minimalist. I’ve stopped trying to be perfect.
Giving up smoking Becoming smoke-free (my last vice) was hard but far from traumatic.
The only downside is there’s not much juicy, dirty or shocking angst to write about any more. In a weird way, feeling good enough makes me feel not good enough.
It sucks to be me — not!
I’m weary of worrying that people think I’m ‘photoshopping’ my life and leaving out the bad bits. There are no bad bits.
Maybe I’ve had the bad bits and I’ve earned a rest?
Maybe this is the next stage of evolution and this is how life is meant to be?
Maybe tattoos, Pandora on leather, sterling silver, natural grey, astanga, bon jour, and high distinctions are just as important as blogs that get half a million page views a month?
Maybe I’m here to tell you pleasure is kind of effortless.
I don’t think about the bad things in my past … I only remember the sweetest memories and my survival instinct.
I don’t worry about the future … I only know there is nothing up ahead worse than what I’ve already been through.
I don’t take any of it for granted
Gratitude – for each breath I take, for each dawn and each full moon, for each kiss and for each idea that catches me by surprise – that’s my religion and my purpose.
Magic, joy, love and peace.
I bow to the Universe in gratitude.