My problem is I don’t have a problem

gratitude

I used to have a problem … in fact I used to have a few. I think that’s why people used to read my blog  — I was a train crash.

Food – dieting, competing, bingeing, starving, hating myself and then hating the diet industry.

Sex – a sexless marriage, a sexy affair, internet dating, leaving one man and finding another.

Death – the death of a marriage, a husband, a career and an entire identity.

My problem is … I don’t have one

These days my biggest problem is I don’t have one. I have everything I ever dreamed of. I’ve never been happier.

I’m no longer angry. I don’t buy things to make me happy so our house is truly minimalist.  I’ve stopped trying to be perfect. Giving up smoking Becoming smoke-free (my last vice) was hard but far from traumatic.

The only downside is there’s not much juicy, dirty or shocking angst to write about any more. In a weird way, feeling good enough makes me feel not good enough.

It sucks to be me — not!

I’m weary of worrying that people think I’m ‘photoshopping’ my life and leaving out the bad bits. There are no bad bits.

Maybe I’ve had the bad bits and I’ve earned a rest?

Maybe this is the next stage of evolution and this is how life is meant to be?

Maybe tattoos, Pandora on leather, sterling silver, natural grey, astanga, bon jour, and high distinctions are just as important as blogs that get half a million page views a month?

Maybe I’m here to tell you pleasure is kind of effortless.

I don’t think about the bad things in my past … I only remember the sweetest memories and my survival instinct.

I don’t worry about the future … I only know there is nothing up ahead worse than what I’ve already been through.

I don’t take any of it for granted

Gratitude – for each breath I take, for each dawn and each full moon, for each kiss and for each idea that catches me by surprise – that’s my religion and my purpose.

Magic, joy, love and peace.

I bow to the Universe in gratitude.

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

17 thoughts on “My problem is I don’t have a problem

  1. Oh, likey, like, love.

    “Maybe this is how life is meant to be?” I fucking hope so :).

    I’m gonna nit pick though. You didn’t “give up” smoking. You quit, you stopped. The things you did give up in relation to it were stinky, disease, shortness of breath, a future of pain, etc, etc, etc. Get my drift ;)?

    Now let’s go and truly life this wonderful life :).

    1. Oh – I must have slipped up because I never usually write that – I agree that I haven’t ‘given up’ anything …
      I’ll go fix it now. 😀

  2. Love it.
    For me it’s not that I don’t have problems, it’s that I don’t have a problem with having a problem.
    I used to get so hung up on what I did and didn’t have (material and emotional) that everything was a bit of a drama. With gratitude and forgiveness everything sort of just flows.
    ‘Bad things’ happen but presence of self means that you’re able to ?be with them rather than part of them?

    1. Great point Michelle – if we see life as an adventure rather than a series of problems to be solved than it does just flow. I like the way you think!

  3. The most popular time my blog ever experienced consistently was when I went through a relationship break up. It was crazy. Thousands of people that I don’t know were lapping up every detail of my heartbreak.. go figure.

      1. I want to watch happy. I don’t watch reality TV or news or anything of the kind except shows that are funny and/or inspirational like Modern Family and The Voice :).

  4. Love it Katie.
    It is so good to see you in a good place.
    Using ‘gratitude’ to live in an authentic way is the only way to go.

    What Michelle says rings true for me.. believe it or not..
    “For me it’s not that I don’t have problems, it’s that I don’t have a problem with having a problem.”
    Part of the reason I’m not hungup on my FB status.. not what you think. Its not important to me.
    The problems in my life are something are in themselves something for gratitude.. makes you doubling appreciate what is the good in ones life.
    Ciao for now

    1. So wonderful you’re appreciating the good things and focusing on them. Nothing is a problem if it propels you to follow your dreams…

  5. This is awesome to read. I’m so pleased for you. Genuinely.

    And also excited about one day getting to this point myself.

  6. I like to think that there will eventually be balance, for all the good, there will be bad. That’s what keeps me going through the bad bits, knowing that the universe will get me back with some awesome times ahead. Seems like this is a good year for us both 🙂

  7. i love your blog now more than EVER!!!!! you are amazing and inspiring. once we embrace the good stuff…we become the good stuff. katie – you are the good stuff!

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