It is in all the scientific research — the hot and heavy passion that begins a relationship is purely chemical. Our brains fire off signals that make us consumed with desire for our new beloved.
Until one day, about eighteen months into the relationship, it wears off.
Romantic love is replaced with a new kind of love that is supposedly more mature and enduring. It has the sexy (ha!) name of companion love or something.
Since I’ve been with my boyfriend I’ve read all the books about how to keep a relationship alive. The last thing I want to do is fuck up the only time in my life I’ve been consumed with love and loved back. They all warn that romance is an illusion that quickly wears off and unless there is commitment and friendship then it’s way too easy to go looking for the thrill of passion with someone else.
I’m not buying it. It’s a lie.
Romance — or hot heavy ‘can’t get enough of you’ sex — remains one of the most powerful experiences we have in our lifetime. When you’re drowning in ecstasy every night the Universe is full of magic; you look, feel and move differently in the world. It’s a flush in the cheeks, a sparkle in the eyes and a softness in your voice. People know when you’re in love.
You are not being deluded by some chemical malfunction when you fall in love — you’re seeing yourself as you truly are.
You are deeply accepted and understood.
You are filled up with an invisible presence.
You imagine you can do anything.
Life is open to possibilities.
You see ecstasy in the ordinary.
You are expanded beyond what you thought were your limitations.
This feeling is not meant to be a brief interlude that interrupts the mundane existence of life or an episode of enjoyable madness, it’s how real life is supposed to be.
It’s who you are when you surrender in love.
Don’t accept that romance will eventually slip from your fingers. Don’t believe that passion has a use by date.
Believe that love can grow and expand without leaving behind the hot fire of sexual desire.
And if the fire has gone out do all that you can to reignite it. The spark is still there ready to burst into flames.
The truth about romance is it can last for as long as you want it to. All it takes is for you to believe in it.
Go on … send a flirty text message, book in a babysitter, buy some flowers … do it now.
And never ever get into bed with your partner unless you’re naked — your body, your emotions, your spirit and your soul.
Being crazy in love is the way life’s meant to be.