“Why would anyone listen to you?” said the voice in my head.
“There are so many people talking about the same shit who know much more than you,” it continued. “Honestly, you’re nothing special. You’ll probably fuck it up just like all the other things you’ve fucked up.”
I‘m struggling at the moment. I’m struggling writing a training course intended to inspire, motivate and enlighten the beautiful women who have put their trust in me.
I’m afraid.
I’m afraid I’m not good enough.
I’m afraid I don’t have anything to say.
I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake.
That voice in my head never goes away. It taunts me and torments me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy …
Surely all the work I’ve done on myself should at least quieten that voice?
It hasn’t made any difference.
What if that voice was there for a reason? What if it didn’t mean what it said and meant something else?
Dreamy Dr Dike believes that the little voice inside your head is not your enemy. In fact, it’s normal and essential to have such a voice.
It’s there to mark the boundary of your comfort zone. Once you step outside of what’s safe and familiar that voice is there for your protection. It’s telling you that you’re about to venture into a potentially dangerous place and is warning you to take care so that you come back in one piece.
The voice in your head is not trying to stop you ~ it’s just trying to remind you to take care. It’s loudest when you leave behind what you have and set out towards what you dream of.
And the language it uses is brutal and harsh because we have tried to suppress it for so long. We call our inner voice a bitch, a monster, a monkey, a demon, or a dragon. We silence it. We fight it. We shut it down.
No wonder it needs to shout at us.
That voice turns up because you’re following your dreams. It’s a sign that you’re taking a risk.
Welcome it.
Embrace it as a dear friend.
Thank you for looking out for me. I know you have my best interests at heart. I’m heading into a scary place and you’ve got a right to let me know the very worst that could happen. So I’m listening. I’m paying attention.
But you know what? I’m going there all the same … (so there’s no point in shouting). Thank you my friend. You’re doing a great job!
Somehow that feels so much better.
Now I’d better get back to it!
Just what I needed to hear this morning :).
As I sit studying for exams I’m hearing that shouting, “You won’t pass,” “Why did you bother?” “Should have just stayed at home and been bored shitless.” etc etc.
And now I know that voice is communicating with me to take care, look after myself extra specially, rather than trying to hurt me.
Thank you my friend(s).
Following your dreams is only for the courageous — and you are so brave. Take care but do it anyway. You are more brilliant than you imagine. x
this came at the perfect time. I’ve been going through a lot of changes lately and hearing that voice a lot but I keep labeling it as “bad.” your post reminded me to seek the wisdom in the voice while giving it the gentle, loving acknowledgment we all crave.
thank you,
The Pleasure Nutritionist
“seek the wisdom in the voice while giving it the gentle, loving acknowledgment we all crave.”
Thank you Daphne for such insightful words.
Hey Katie – great post. The key is to understand that voice is NOT your enemy … it is a protector and an ally in the guise of a overworried grandmother. It knows you are going out into uncharted territory and wants to make sure you come back safe. Put it on your inner board of advisors and welcome its input.
Your relationship holds the key to living your dreams with MUCH less struggle … honest.
Dike
Dike Drummond MD
http://www.threehourmidlifecrisis.com
Oh Dr Dike you are so wise (and dreamy) 🙂
Seriously — the overworried Grandmother is a great way to picture it. Thank you for the inspiration and adding to the conversation. x
Oh goodness, Katie – these are just the words that I needed to read. Thank you. My negative voices have been incessant and down right nasty lately. And you’re absolutely right – it IS because I am following my dreams. And yes, I absolutely need to welcome them in as my lovely friends trying to protect me. I really love that mindset shift. In fact, I’m definitely going to say “thank you” to my negative voice and give her a big hug! She needs it – she’s freaken’ terrified! : ) All kidding aside, thank you Katie. This really was exactly what I needed to hear. I’ll be saving this and rereading it often… xx
I’m so glad it helped Grace. Hugging your negative voice is a wonderful idea x
Just wondering….
If I hear NO voices does it mean that I’ve ceased to follow my dreams?
Maybe senescence has taken over…
Every time I have had a NDE or was about to do something REALLY stupid [like jumping off a cliff] my inner voice has screamed at me
“do you really think you should be doing that?”
Anecdote for you Katie..
I recall thinking that as I clambered onto the top step of of the precariously situated ladder… just before I went hurtling head first down the stairs. I proceeded to smash a hole into the wall, with my head, before finally catapulting into a concussed and bleeding heap on the floor…paint brush still in hand…
It took a long time to conquer my fear of ladders. I learnt a lot that day about listening to my inner voice. It is very aware of my capabilities… It has enabled me to tread carefully and take extra care when needed yet still allowing me to take risks by not crippling me with fear.
It didn’t prevent me climbing up onto the roof to finish painting that window from the outside. It did suggest that perhaps some renovating tasks should be left to others… that I am NOT invincible..
Lastly..I think what you are doing is fantastic.
TY for sharing life’s lessons with us.
It goes back to a willingness to make mistakes. Sometimes we will do foolish things and get hurt (physically and emotionally) but the lessons we learn and the very act of having a go is what makes our hearts blossom and grow. Although I do agree that jumping off a cliff may not be the best idea!
PS I had to look up senescence — I’ll be having none of that thank you!
PPS Thanks for the lovely compliment.
I have turned making mistakes into an art-form.. 🙂
It is really the most powerful tool for growth. I embrace the success and failure of my actions… Success is satisfying but it is often the flip side of the coin that ultimately brings the longest lasting rewards… knowledge and personal growth.
“Success is satisfying but it is often the flip side of the coin that ultimately brings the longest lasting rewards… knowledge and personal growth.”
Absolutely spot on — this is so wonderful I’m going to quote YOU in future.
Ahhh, I know that voice well, lol. I’ve gotten it to play on my team now, in a way I like it to anyway :). Love the way you wrote about this. thank you!
It’s inspiring to hear that you can make it “play on your team”. Thanks for the encouragement Gina.