On most days I try to share some kind of helpful advice about how to hold on to your authentic self in the midst of an imperfect life or reveal some of my adventures with you.
Well … today’s a bit different.
I want to pull back the curtain a little bit and share something more personal than I ever have before.
In a few weeks it will be the end of 2011. This year has been one of the best years of my life especially after the events of 2010 which completely shifted the ground from underneath me. During 2011 I’ve ~
- left my corporate job and gone back to school
- successfully completed two thirds of my masters degree in non-fiction writing
- made a start on that bloody memoir I’ve wanted to write
- hired a business coach to help me focus on what gift I have to share with the world
- abseiled down a sheer cliff face in the Blue Mountains even though I was terrified
- released 10 kilos of healing weight and kept it off without even trying
- had heart-stopping sacred sex beyond anything I could have ever imagined
- fallen even more in love with Duckfish
- moved my blog to my own domain and learned CSS and HTML from scratch
- made videos for the first time in my life
- kayaked up the Hawkesbury River and around the Whitsunday islands
Not bad for an old shelia is it? But as 2011 draws to a close I realise that I’ve been keeping something back from you and it feels right to tell you now.
What I didn’t tell you is that since I stopped working earlier this year I’ve been trying really hard to make this blog more about YOU!
The reason I hired a business coach is because I wanted to start giving you articles and resources that would help you recognise that you are more awesome than you imagine. My intention was to help you become a confident, warm and open woman who’s comfortable in her own skin, and uses her short time on earth to do what matters rather than please others.
But (… there’s always a “but”)
But I’ve only given you a small part of what I know. There are many important things I’ve longed to talk about in more detail (sexual specifics, marriage, spiritualism, the affair etc) but I’ve held back because I don’t know who will be reading this or where it might end up (I’m sure Duckfish’s boss doesn’t want to know about what we do in bed!) So much of my transformation occurred in the intimate areas of my life and I haven’t shared it with you.
So I’m contemplating changing my mind and exposing my secrets to you. I’m nervous about this though and I’m going to need your help.
I’ll share the details with you in the next day or so (stay tuned …)
In the meantime … tell me some of the highlights of 2011 for you. Did you do something for the first time this year?
-Learning to love myself again
-Falling in love..as I’ve never EVER had that happen before
-Realising that boys keep lids to tupperware containers that don’t exist..lol
-Realising that at times my desire to be independence can suffocate my ability to enjoy life, love and intimacy.
-Getting a job in a profession that I love
-Completing my degree..amen
-Realising that I don’t have to be scared of life anymore
-Realising that in fact I will be able to find a happy weight with my body that doesn’t revolve around the starve/binge/hate cycle.
Wow Mish — you’ve had a FANTASTIC year and I’m so happy for you ♥
For the first time this year (and ever) I forced myself to face my fears every single day. I did so by accepting a job that I could put my whole self and heart into and with an organization I respected and wanted to be apart of. My job consists of public speaking– and I have an anxiety disorder.
Amy
You are so very brave — public speaking with an anxiety disorder can’t be easy. Congratulations on following your dreams.
i have really and truly begun to dig through and release some of the pain that i have been burried under.
i have let go of my disordered obsession with my weight…mostly.
i have also gained 15 healing lbs and am okay with it…mostly.
i have cried a lot.
i have laughed a lot.
i have made a commitment to myself to commit to myself.
i have started seeing a therapist. because no matter how badly i want to, i can’t do it alone.
Hey Jessica
I’ve been watching your transformation and you’ve made some giant steps forward this year.
Being mostly OK with the tough stuff is perfectly natural and normal. We always have days when we wish things were different but the power is in keeping on going in spite of everything.
You’re doing great!
If it’s ok, I’d like to ask Jessica what sort of Pscyh she is seeing. I’m sorting out postgrad stuff and there are a bewildering number of possible paths. Is your psych, Jessica, a Clinical Psychologist, or working in some other domain of practice? Thanks.
sure thing sara! she is amazing – a great fit for me. she is an lpc (licensed professional councelor).
i stole this from her site:
“is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Substance Abuse Counselor who received her degree from XXXXXXX University. She provides counseling for individuals ages 14 years and older with her primary areas of expertise in alcohol/substance abuse, stress and anxiety disorders. Subspecialites include mood and eating disorders, domestic violence and grief counseling.”
i am happy to answer any questions you might have about it – just let me know! i am going to check out your blog now : )
Looking forward to seeing what you’ve got in store Katie. 🙂
I just haven’t done that much this year; we moved to a place we both love, I’ve started writing again-but with more intention (hoping for some magazine articles in 2012), went to our first party of strangers since I quit drinking over 2 years ago and actually was able to have conversations without the help of alcohol. That’s it, but I’m fine with that, and I don’t have any great wishes for 2012 other than to get those articles published and get a few more clients for the studio. Boring, I know-but just keeping it real! ;-0
Sounds like a wonderful year to me — moved to place you love with a man you love, connected with your inner voice and creativity, and celebrated freedom from an addiction. There are many women who only dream of such things!
The only thing I can say about my 2011 is that I SURVIVED. There were times I honestly didn’t think I would, a few times I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted to, but I did. I’m inching closer and closer to healing, to the place where I’m ready to make some major changes and start to finally take myself, my health and my life seriously for the first time ever. I’ve taken, and continue to take, teeny, tiny, baby steps towards being the person I want to be.
Well done Bryn — transition and change are hard but the lessons we learn move us towards what we really want. Baby steps starts momentum that turns into quantum leaps. I think 2012 is going to be your year!
exciting times katie – exposing yourself should be nerve wreaking but you know you have LOADS of supporters here! No judgement, you being raw is what makes you – YOU!!!
Highlight pretty obvious for me – had sex (not for the first time haha), fell pregnant (for the first time)!!!
luv you x
Ooh lovely bubby … you are going to be such an amazing mum! Love you too x
Wow what a list you have! For me I have stepped up my commitment to be even a more loving person.
Hi Tess — thank you so much stopping by and leaving a comment. More loving … yeah, I want that too!
Gosh, so many wonderful things everyone has been dong, including your wonderful self, Katie. I was thinking that this was a bit of a blah year for me with not much happening, but then stepping back I have spent many a night and day bawling my eyes out and not understanding the real reason. BUT I have been reading a lot more about so many things, by so many authors, Eckhart Tolle, Neale Donald Walsch, Jack Cranfield & Mark Hansen, Jo Vitale, Matha Beck, Mike Dooley and who could forget Shelley Stark!!! I also discovered John Marsdens “Tomorrow” series and when someone said in a shrill and judging voice “You know that was written for teenagers” I said who gives a shit, it’s a bloody good story.
I suppose this year has beeen about me. Getting to know me, sometimes I liked me other times I really didn’t. I also feel so much better about my research, and I am motivated once again to get stuck into it as it is really important, not for me but for the people whose lives will hopefully be changed for the better. Exx
P.S. No sex stories I’m afraid…. almost been a year since the last time!!!
Miss E
Sounds to me like you’ve spent some time learning — from the greats, from yourself and from the people you want to help. And learning is my no #1 value so nothing blah about that!
God … I do wank on, sorry Katie!!
Wanking is mandatory when you’re not having sex 😀 ~ go right ahead!
OMFG I didn’t think of that!!! Don’t worry, Mr Buzzy is my new best friend…..did I really say that!!!!
Funny how often vibrators get mentioned around here. I must tell you about my We-Vibe one day …
You girls make me smile and laugh 🙂 🙂
Oh my gosh, it really is near the end of the year again! 😀 It’s been a great year for me, in oh-so-many ways. 😀
Er.. forgot the ‘?’… punctuation notwithstanding, my 2011 has been STELLAR.
Stellar – like the stars … nice!
Well this year has been one of extremes for me, more than ever before. I fell deeply in love for the first time and had my heart broken like never before. I thought I would die. The rest of the year just seems to be a blur of depression and anxiety that I have not experienced before (and I was already suffering from an anxiety disorder). It’s taken it’s toll on me physically and emotionally. This next year is about healing.
Having a broken heart shows that you are capable of deep connection and increases your capacity to love next time. It’s not fun though! Here’s to a fabulous 2012 for you Frankie ~ you deserve it!
You’ve had me thinking 🙂
Great list x
Check it out http://www.shelleystark.com/reflection-on-2011/
OK Katie, 2011 will sure be memorable:
* Awesome (for me) time of 1 hr, 14 in 14km ‘Run for a Reason’ race in May!
* Half Marathon PB of 2:03:05 on the Gold Coast in July. I didn’t do enough long distance running and slowed significantly after the 14k mark with the previous nights seafood sloshing around so didn’t make it under 2 hours……..still a PB by 12 and a half mins so was stoked!
* Achieved and maintained a lifestyle, general fitness and lifestyle balance I liked………reached a comfortable size 10, (62kg for me) which felt ultimate and I kept it for a while. When I attained it I went on a decent shopping spree! First time I’d made it to a size 10 since early 2002 with body fat in the low 20%s!
* Kayaked around the Whitsundays too after the half marathon,……as well as jetboating feeling bikini confident.
* Increased knowledge regarding photography, joined a camera club.
* Guess the lowlight was my BF splitting up with me, family in NZ, I made an identity crisis for myself, gained a rapid 15kg topping off at 77-78 through overeating and comfort eating for a few months. That made my job, (on feet all day) uncomfortable. Have been getting back on track…biting the bullet to some extent but not dieting as such so have shed about 3-4kg within the first 2.5 weeks.
* Am lucky to be living with a great mate after needing to move out from ex BF’s.
So that’s a quick summary of 2011 for me! Happy 2012 to all 🙂
Wow Pip, what a busy year. Just reading it makes me exhausted! You must be very proud of your accomplishments.