University life is crazy. You only work twenty-eight weeks of the year and the rest is holidays. I think I should get a job as a lecturer.
So in two weeks time I’ll be having three months off. Aside from going to New Zealand so Duckfish can meet my parents, I’ve got nothing planned.
So I’ve started looking at my NLP and Hypnotherapy books and manuals which I will explore more over the next three months. I had forgotten how amazing this approach is. Today I thought I would share with you the difference between traditional therapy and NLP coaching. It’s great stuff.
Ξ
| Traditional Therapy | NLP Coaching |
|---|---|
| Is about working with a PATIENT | Is about working with a CLIENT |
| Asks the question WHY | Asks the question HOW, WHAT and WHAT IF? WHY just gets reasons and not results, content rather than process |
| Takes for granted that emotions are a sign that something is WRONG and are therefore to be avoided | Assumes emotions are NATURAL and looks for the INTENTION and PURPOSE for the expression of those emotions |
| Works with a person’s PAST and traumatic events therein, and seeks healing of those events | Interested in a person’s PRESENT and works to help them in creating a compelling FUTURE |
| Diagnoses mental ILLNESSES and attempts to deal with identifiable conditions | Assumes that the client is HEALTHY (not broken) |
| Doctor-Patient relationship where the DOCTOR has the solution | Partnership of equals where the coach offers techniques and encourages the client to find his/her OWN solutions |
| Focuses on the patient being BROKEN and somehow has to be fixed | Focuses on actions, outcomes and process remembering that everyone is CAPABLE of their best performance and only has to get in touch with those capabilities |
| Through conversation encourages the patient to TALK about and thereby resolve old pain and symptoms to get rid of them | Helps the client to discover the PROCESS by which s/he prevents the achievement of goals and objects and learn new ways of thinking |
| Fixing the patient by fixing the PAST | Understanding the past as a framework for the present and creating the FUTURE |
| Relies on studies and manuals to DIAGNOSE pathology | Coaching is a model of LEARNING and potentiality which focuses on the future and its achievable goals and outcomes |
| Therapist WON’T TALK about him/herself | When appropriate the coach SHARES his experience which is vital to learning |
| Progress is TIME CONSUMING and AGONIZING | Changes are FAST and FUN |
| Therapist diagnoses and then PRESCRIBES a path to healing | Coach aligns mentally with the client and they CO-CREATE the solution.The client is responsible for the outcomes and always has control over his/her results |
Ξ
[If the table is all messed up in your Reader please click here to view it]
I’ve only ever been to a therapist once when I was recovering from my eating disorder. All she did was ask me about my childhood and I left feeling more fucked up than when I arrived. And for that privilege I paid a few hundred dollars. I never went back.
Have you ever had traditional therapy? or a coach? Which one worked for you?
I LOVE my ‘therapist’. She’s the sister of someone who I worked with. The.most.amazing.woman.ever. Her name is Dot, and I have now referred five of my girlfriends to her. We ALL call her superDot. The only girl who didn’t like her, didn’t like her because she wasn’t Christian enough. She’s a life coach. She’s practical, rational, focused on solutions..but doesn’t forget about the issues either. She only digs up the past when it’s necessary, and it’s impacting the now. She’s amazing. She’ll be at my wedding.
I love “practical, rational, and focused on solutions”. I hope I’ll be at your wedding too! x
Totally agree. I went a few time to a therapist and they made me feel worse about myself and like everything was ‘my fault’. Did a few NLP sessions and was empowered to make peace and ‘own my stuff’ instead! Went back to the therapist and he couldn’t believe that in 3 weeks I’d sorted all my ‘stuff’ out. Love it!
Fabulous work M … Own your stuff is where it’s at!
PS Did you see I ended up with Thesis after all — I love, love, love it … especially the clean comments.
Glad the theme is working out well for you. If you ever need theme customisation or know anyone who does it’s part of my business as a graphic designer and my rates aren’t too bad 😀
Good to know — I love doing it myself even if I’m clueless. It’s like a giant murder mystery that needs solving — I search the internet for a solution then change my CSS code line by line until it looks like it should. It does take a long time though so I’m sure you’d be much quicker.
One day soon when my monthly online income is over $40 😉 I’ll get you to design me a logo. That would be nice … x
Three months? I’m seeing tropical island, cocktails, naked man, sex on beach, sleep ins, massages. Oh wait, wrong person! T’was me in the vision (haha).
Mmmm … only problem is the only naked man I’m interested has to work the whole time. Maybe I could get a free pass?
Hall pass! But it wouldn’t be as good or worth it anyway. Oh well, back to the vision board :).
ha ha 😀
In my education, experience, and reading, I’ve learned that the left column above constitutes many of the stereotypes and criticisms of traditional therapy. I don’t think that is actually the case more often. When I reflect on my experiences, nearly every item in the right hand column applies to the therapeutic relationship developed. The answers are inside of us, and the therapist role is to help us seek them, help us find understanding, help us heal from past hurts (not fix something that’s broken), and to help us move forward in our lives in the best, most authentic manner possible.
This is a generalisation about groups of people so it has to be a stereotype and won’t always be true. I wasn’t really criticising the traditional therapy model, rather celebrating the philosophy of a collaborative self actualised approach. If you find that with any therapist or coach then that’s fantastic.
Now that I reread what I wrote early this morning, I see that it may have come across negative. I didn’t intend that at all. YES — a collaborative, self-actualized approach is the goal… no matter what path one takes to get there. 🙂
It’s all good — I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I don’t mind at all if you question what I’ve written — in fact, I really like it!