There are so many ways to feel like I’m not good enough and blog world is the perfect breeding ground for feelings of inadequacy.
In an effort to banish my preoccupation with the size and shape of my body, I have deleted all my weight loss blogs and subscriptions. Instead I am reading healthy lifestyle blogs. You would think that would be so much more positive and helpful but today it is making me feel totally inadequate. How do I compare myself to all those women out there in cyberspace?
I am not healthy enough
Some health and fitness bloggers post beautiful photos of their every meal and snack. I realise that my food choices are not good enough. I eat too much artificial sweetener, processed food, dairy, sugar, meat and diet products. I need clean up my diet so it is raw, organic, and vegan. I am very unhealthy.
I am not pretty enough
I don’t have shiny long hair, flawless skin, sparkling white teeth, perfectly manicured nails and designer workout clothes. I am obviously not making enough of an effort. I need to visit the hairdresser, beautician, dentist, manicurist and nearest boutique ASAP.
I am not popular enough
My blog doesn’t have thousands of subscribers, thousands of page views and hundreds of comments. My blog is tiny and insignificant, I may as well be talking to myself. I need to get my own domain name, web designer and graphic artist to give my blog an overhaul and then I need to guest post on those mega blogs to get some much needed traffic.
I am not fit enough
I’ve never participated in a marathon, triathlon, bikram yoga, power lifting meet, cross-fit or rock-climbing and I’ve never even placed in a single thing I have done. My leisurely walks, beginner level yoga and sporadic weight lifting is obviously not making me fit enough. I need to get a trainer, a competition goal and move way outside my comfort zone in order to be as fit as I should be.
I am not unique enough
I am not a yummy mummy, a health food blogger, a ‘health at any size’ activist, a life coach or hilariously funny. I am not even the poster girl for intuitive eating because I bigger now than when I started. I don’t stand out from the crowd. I need to re-create my persona so that my daily posts are so intriguing, humorous, controversial, informative and memorable that people are drawn to me like moths to a flame.
I am not changing the world enough
I don’t have a book deal, I’ve never volunteered for anything, I am not a respected expert in my field and I’m not inspiring millions of women to take action. I need to do more to make this world a better place.
I am not rich enough
No one gives me free samples to give away as competition prizes, no one pays for me to visit their manufacturing plan or speak at their conference. I have no sponsorship for my blog, for my supplements (if I even took any), or for my clothing. I don’t rake in thousands a day from advertising. My all time ‘passive’ blog generated income to date is $33.40. I need to get more readers so I can attract sponsors and write a best-selling ebook that sells copy after copy until the end of my days.
I should probably just give up
On consideration of all the above data, I should give up, go eat some chocolate and go back to what I’m good at ~ dieting deprivation and obsessive exercise ~ oh crap, I just remembered that I wasn’t any good at that either.
I could say that I don’t care but that would be lying. I do feel inadequate today.
But guess what? I may not be healthy, pretty, popular, fit, unique, inspiring or rich compared to some, but even if I was ~ that is not who I am. I am more than those accomplishments, I am more than a feeling of being better or worse than someone else, I am who I am.
I am part of the divine wisdom of the Universe, I was created for the sole reason that no one else can do what I was put on this earth to do. Without me, this world would fall apart because I am an intrinsic part of this reality.
My husband loves me, my friends love me, people at work love me and my cat loves me. But best of all I love myself. I am perfect just the way I am, I don’t need to do anything and there is nothing I should become.
- Does reading other people’s blogs inspire you or make you feel inadequate? Do you judge yourself harshly when you see others who already have everything you dream of or does it motivate you to keep going?
→ photo : Elven*Nicky