Being on a diet means thinking about food a lot. There’s the shopping, the meal planning, the calorie/points/macro calculations, counting the water you drink (and knowing where the nearest bathroom is), fighting with the urge to eat and looking forward to the next meal.
When you give all that up and try intuitive eating, there is less to worry about but still a lot of thinking to be done. “Am I hungry? What do I feel like? Am I eating mindfully? Am I full?” But after a while, this becomes second nature and you don’t have to think about it at all.
What happens next is the scary part. Suddenly you discover when you aren’t distracted any more by food, you have space in your thoughts for other things. You start to notice that other things in your life are not going as well as you imagined.
You might notice for the first time in a long time that you’re not the person you used to be. Somehow the years of trying to be perfect have left you brittle and dry. There is no joy or spontaneity in your personality.
You might sense that your relationship with your significant other is less than ideal. Without the cloud of body obsession between you, you feel like you’ve grown apart. Your passion for the person you’ve lived with for so many years has shrunk and withered like a garden that hasn’t been watered.
Your job, your creativity, your career, your spiritual life, your family, and your personal development may also feel strained or difficult. It seems that since you gave up dieting everything has got worse.
Even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what is wrong, you feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. Deep, pure melancholy permeates your days.
Your first reaction is to get back control. And the easiest way to do this is to go back to your dieting lifestyle. Please resist.
More therapy?
Solving your problems doesn’t mean years of self-examination and therapy — it is quite elegantly simple.
- Identify what you would like your life to look like (in positive terms).
- Identify where you are now.
Forget about the WHY (why is everything so fucked up?) and the HOW (how will I ever change this?) and focus on what you would like instead.
Set your intention for a life exactly the way you dream it.
What are your dreams?
A while ago I made a dream box. Inside it were pictures of all the things I wanted in my life. There was a house with a view of the harbour, a body that I loved, nice teeth, perfect eyesight, books to represent writing and rest and relaxation.
All of these things have come true, not in the way I imagined but completely right for me.
It is possible. Take the first step and make your own dream box. If you want to, let me know what’s in it in the comments below. I’d love to know.
Hi Katie, I have been finding this big time just recently myself, but I know it will get better. Months ago I created a vision board (similar to a dream box) and it is hung right near my bed, so every night and most mornings I stare at the pictures, my dreams…
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Kristy
A vision board is a fantastic idea … I love that you see it right before you fall asleep and when you wake up. That’s when your unconscious mind is most active.
Hi Katie,
i’m so excited to find out what you are working on! I really love vision boards, but the concept of a dream box sounds fantastic too. Right now I don’t have many close friends and my family is only somewhat supportive, so I tend to not openly display my vision board, so a box would be perfect.
Some of my dreams are to release myself from the grips of emotional eating (I’m making progress), start my own health/life coaching practice, have an organic garden that supplies at least half of my food, live in several countries in Europe for at least one year, and find an amazing man like the ones you described in your blog post.
What wonderful dreams Grace. I know you can do it!
that space that i have been avoiding is some of the scariest space that i have ever tread into – i am still treading lightly a day at a time. some days i still open the door, peek in and then turn around and run…but at least i looked in.
i am working on it – every day feels better and stronger.
Sometimes you just need to get your feet wet to get comfortable with the temperature before you dive in. I understand completely. Good luck x
Thank you, Katie. I know I can too! : ) I wanted to apologize for the disorganized nature of our call. I wish I had had more specific questions to ask you. I think part of my problem is that while I have a lot of awareness about myself and my life, I haven’t gotten to the point where I have a clear image of what my main barriers are. Talking to you helped remind me that that’s ok, though. Bit by bit I’ll learn more about myself. I decided that I’m going to focus on taking more action instead of spending most of my time just contemplating.
No need to apologise — I enjoyed talking to you.
Ok, thank you. I really enjoyed talking to you as well : )
This is a very interesting post to me because I have been having trouble getting past my issues with eating and always planning meals, eating healthy, etc. But maybe one of the reasons I can’t get past that is because I have other things going on that I am avoiding thinking about. At this point I’d almost rather figure out what those things are and deal with them.
Dieting and exercise are classic avoidance strategies. It is neither good nor bad unless it starts impacting on our ability to enjoy life. When that happens its time to uncover what it is we are avoiding.
Reading back through your older stuff and really getting a handle that all my unwanted behaviour are symptoms of something bigger. Drinking too much, addiction to nicotine gum (I kid you not), emotional eating, biting my nails, incessent busyness and constant activity.
I’m scared of what I’ll find when I stop chasing my tail and feel the pain. Despite the fear I am willing to commit. Whever I can release all this negative activity in one go is the question though I suppose! For now I’m just going to release the alcohol and make sure that nothing creeps in to take it’s place.
Great post x
No-one ever died from emotional pain. In fact, it goes away when you face it head on. You’re already brave and strong you know. You can do anything you set your mind to. ♥