The Secret to Permanent Weight Loss


3 Secrets to Get a Booty for Life Today!*

If you want to lose thigh fat, get sexy legs, and build a perky butt and booty that you can be proud of for life, then this will be the most important article you ever read.

If I want to love my thighs, feel sexy and beautiful, build my self esteem and be proud of who I am then this article should be deleted immediately.

Nutrition is the secret to success for women when it comes to sculpting their bodies and losing thigh fat.

Personally I reckon nutrition is the secret to staying alive, right up there with breathing.

Do you keep a nutrition log? If not, you must start doing so!  Research shows you’ll lose more fat if you track your diet and write down what you eat.

(a) No (b) Can’t make me (c) More fat than who or what?

Here are 3 more secrets to success if you want a “glorified body part” …

1) The #1 diet secret to success is…
Remove excess sugar and processed foods from your diet and switch to cheaper and healthier foods. In the “insert stupid name” program, you’ll receive a complete calorie counter and meal plan guideline to help you identify the perfect fat burning meal plan for women.

I don’t want to remove anything from my diet thanks all the same. I’m quite fond of processed oats, almond butter, yogurt and rice.

I am leaving the “perfect” meal plan for the “perfect” women … perfect is completely overrated.

2) Small nutrition changes can help you lose a lot of fat ~ how much is a LOT?
In the “insert stupid name” program, you’ll also get…

  • The Treats and Cheats Food Guide ~ ooh goody this program has built in binges
  • A step by step system to determine the number of calories you need ~ for what?
  • Detailed guides to good carb, high-protein, and healthy fat foods ~ do good carbs take care of their sick mothers and bad ones say fuck in church? I’ve never met a carb I didn’t like …
  • A perfect meal plan for eating multiple meals, even for busy women ~ there you go with the perfect again, this time not just for any women but for BUSY women

3) Exercises that you can do in the comfort of your own home – and even while LYING DOWN! – can help you sculpt your booty and “perkify” your butt. ~ Don’t tell me – I know this one, I know this one …

In the “insert stupid name” workout program, you’ll discover…

  • Unique LYING DOWN exercises that work your butt ~ yeah you already said that
  • Proven exercises to burn belly fat ~ proven by whom? you’re not serious about spot reduction are you?
  • You don’t need long, slow cardio or boring crunches ~ at last a true statement

And you can build a beautiful butt in the comfort of your own home!  ~ thank god for that, my happiness is now complete.

*actual title – some text in the body of the “article” has been deleted but nothing except the text in italics (and obviously my commentary in bold) has been added or altered.

→ photo: firepile

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing