Letting Go


It seems that we are conditioned to seek control in the areas of our life that we perceive as difficult and challenging. For the professional dieters among us, this control is focussed on our food or training, and probably spills over into our work, relationships and our recreation.

The Control Freak

Sometimes when we decide that we need to change our relationship with food and become an intuitive eater, we switch our control impulse from food over to fixing ourselves. We follow all the ‘guidelines’ to the letter, we meditate, affirm, eat consciously and listen to our bodies. We work the program because it promises us the holy grail ~ a lean body without the pain of deprivation. There are slip ups and stumbles along the way but we keep going because we know if we can go months on a restrictive diet, then we must be able to get this intuitive eating thing under control.

Wanting Control Means Not Having It

This is difficult to understand but the very act of wanting something focuses our vibrations on the fact that we lack what we want. We want control because we feel like we don’t have it ~ and so we continue NOT to have it.

I don’t spend my life wanting to be financially secure, wanting to have a loving relationship, or wanting to be smarter because I already have those things. And by having them, I attract more of those things into my life.

Watch Your Words

How often have you said, “I want to be lean, fit and strong”, “I want to be in control around food”, I want to be free from diet hell”? Wanting names the lack in your life and attracts more wanting. If you want something, you are affirming that you don’t have it.

Give In and Let It Go

This is one of the hardest things to contemplate because of our cultural belief that we have to have discipline and control in our lives in order to achieve our dreams and goals but the answer to getting what you want is to simply let go “want”.

Can you let go, in this moment, the wanting control? Can you stop, just for now, wanting to be in charge? You might not be able to contemplate letting go of control (because the sky would fall in right?) but you might be able to let go, just for now, the wanting.

Say this out loud, right now …

“In this moment in time, I am perfect, whole and complete. I am all that I can be and I have everything that I need. All is well.” *breathe in | breathe out ‘ahhhh’*

If you didn’t say it out loud, do it now … I’ll wait.

… don’t forget the deep breath ‘ahhhh’ …

Before you mind starts racing off, pause and check in with yourself. How do those words make you feel? Is there a sense of relief?  Does it feel like you have taken off your high heel shoes at the end of a long hot day? Is it like putting down a heavy bag you have been carrying for years?

That, my friend is letting go. You are free to put your shoes back on or pick up the bag at any time. You don’t need to banish, crush or destroy your desires, you just have to set them down for a while.

The Practice

“I am Perfect, Whole, and Complete”

The next time you hear yourself saying in your thoughts or your words “I want… ” or “I need …” counteract that thought with the phrase you just learnt. You can shorten it to I am Perfect, Whole, and Complete. Make it your mantra when you walk, when you say grace, every time you look in a mirror, when your feet first touch the ground in the morning and the last thought before you go to sleep.

Why Bother with all this Hippy Shit?

The reason we want to be lean, fit and healthy, or rich, or in a loving relationship, or in a fantastic job is so that we will feel good about ourselves. And when we feel good about ourselves we know that we will have love, peace and joy in our lives. We will finally be happy. It is the doctrine of consumption. We believe if we just got what we most desire we would be happy at last.

It doesn’t work. The perfect body, money in the bank, a partner who adores you and a high flying job will never make you happy. It will just makes you want more or live in terror that you will lose what you have worked so hard to achieve.

You don’t need things to make you happy, you need to love who you are, right here and right now. When you tell yourself that you are Perfect, Whole and Complete over and over again, you begin to believe it.

And when you believe it, happiness comes flooding in like daylight flooding in to a darkened room.

Let Go of the Wanting and Start Being

“In this moment in time, I am perfect, whole and complete. I am all that I can be and I have everything that I need. All is well.” *breathe in | breathe out ‘ahhhh’*

Did you know …

  • Even though religions throughout the world have different names for God–all of these names, no matter what culture or religion they derive from contain a common sound resonance. All names for God contain the sound “ah.” The sound Ah (even if the letters ah are absent) is in Jehovah, Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus Christ, etc. Ah is also the sound of release. Think about when you use that sound. Possibly when you are being massaged and are letting go of tightness in your muscles. Or when you drink a delicious beverage and let go some tension you were carrying. Possibly when you are making love and you are letting go of self and joining with another. Those are some of the times when you let go. ~ Ahhh – Letting Go of Control

→ photo : freeparking

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing