What if Your Damaged Self Didn’t Need Healing?

damaged selfGenpo Roshi (Dennis Merzel) is a former Zen Buddhist who teaches the practice of Big Mind. I watched one of his videos last night which was a process that unpicks all the different “voices” we have as part of the self, what they do for us and why they need to be heard.

The process speaks to the Protector, the Controller, the Skeptic, Fear, the Victim, the Damaged Self, the Vulnerable Child … and so on until it gets to speak to the “Big Mind” and the “Big Heart” which is our totality, our divinity and the part of us that was never born and never dies.

It’s all quite simple in demonstration but difficult to describe. So I am not going to attempt it.

Instead I want to reflect on the Damaged Self. We all have a part of us that is wounded, scarred, hurting and broken. It has taken every bullet, every dagger, every insult and every hurt for our entire lives. It takes on all the damage so that the other parts of our personality don’t have to. Our Damaged Self jumps into the line of fire without a second thought. It is heroic and brave. We need our Damaged Selves.

So stop trying to fix, heal or hide your Damaged Self. It is what connects us to the pain in others and has compassion for the suffering in the world. It is not weak or shameful to be damaged, it is strong and courageous.

Big Mind Big HeartListen to its voice. Don’t hide it in the basement or treat it as an embarrassment. Once we can hold our damaged selves with unconditional love and accept that they will never be fixed then we can integrate, digest and absorb out pain while hearing the lessons it teaches us.

We’re all damaged goods. It doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough, it means we are good at surviving and thriving. Our Damaged Self is doing a wonderful job. We have a safe place where every knock, every disappointment, every failure can be held so that we can continue to live and function in the world. Your Damaged Self is something to be proud of. You don’t need to find a way to fix it [although the Fixer in you will always try!].

→The Process
click to view video from your reader 

→The Damaged Self
click to view video from your reader

Further Information

Here are the only links I could find online that go through the whole process – Genpo Roshi Video Clips

→ photo : How Self Esteem is Damaged

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

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