People get quite heated over the terms we use to describe our relationship with food. It is like the label on a religion. Everyone is acknowledging a higher power, but we fight over whether it is God, Buddha, Mohamed, Jesus, the Universe, Spirit or the magic fairies at the bottom of the garden [which is where I’m at this week]. What we fail to realise that the end goal is exactly the same and although we like to feel separate and unique, our spiritual beliefs are all part of the same continuum.
Whether you follow a 1200 calorie shake diet, count Weight Watcher Points, live a healthy lifestyle, eat Vegan/Gluten Free/Low Carb/Vegetarian, or embrace intuitive eating, we are all doing exactly the same thing. We are following a set of behaviours that will allow us to feel beautiful, sexy, energetic and happy in our this physical artefact we call our body.
None of these approaches is better or worse than another. The only things that count is (a) if it works and (b) if it makes you happy doing it.
Sitting in opposite camps spewing forth the benefits of one approach over another doesn’t do anyone any good. There is enough stress in our lives without our sisters sitting in judgement of us because of the way we eat. It puts us in competition with each other and it feeds the part of us that is so quick to think that we are not good enough.
There is a continuum from dieting to intuitive eating. Each a different approach on the same path. No choice is any better than another if it works for you and makes you feel happy in your skin.
We waste so much time and energy defending our position on the continuum. It makes no sense. As long as we fight over the words dieting, healthy living and intuitive eating we will continue to be fucked up. We feed the very thing that makes self-love difficult — the feeling that we are doing the wrong thing, that someone else has got their shit together more than us, and that nagging voice that says we need fixing.
It happened to me. I thought that if I was eating low carb then I wasn’t following the Intuitive Eating principles. I wasn’t doing it right. While I continued to eliminate a food group, it meant that I was avoiding something or I hadn’t reached a point where I could trust myself yet.
It’s all bullshit. It doesn’t matter. You are unique and your own guru. I know a woman who eats all the crap she likes until her pants get tight and then counts calories for a few weeks until her pants fit again. Then she relaxes with her food until the cycle begins all over again. But the thing is, it works for her. She isn’t filled with self loathing when she puts on weight, she doesn’t resent having the cut back on her treats, she just does it the only way she knows how. She is happy and she has a body she is proud of. It’s no big deal for her — it’s just her thing.
So what is your thing? Do you even know? Or are you following the most popular thing everyone else is doing?
That is really the only problem here. Are you in the driver seat or are you being swayed by the opinions of some ‘expert’ in the field? Are you so caught up in your need to be right that you follow your rules even though they make you unhappy? Are you fighting a battle, defending your position and gathering a cult of followers in order to justify your choices?
It’s all so unnecessary. It’s just food for fuck’s sake. It’s a part of life that should give us peripheral pleasure and not occupy the significance we give it every time we champion our particular cause. I’m tired of fighting over what is the right way to eat. Let’s just give it a rest.
Now pass me the bacon …
THANK YOU xxxx
You’re welcome x
love it.
Thanks Sui
Yes Katie, I’m surprised at how people get their knickers (is that how you spell that word?) in a knot about the path to what is essentially the same thing.
People are more likely to follow opinion or blogs if the content resonates with them and it is written well – if these two variables aren’t met to some degree, then attracting followers is an exercise in futility.
Personally, I have no inclination or time to wade through blogs where the grammar and punctuation is so poor that the message is lost – give me gritty content presented in a well constructed manner and I’m all over it.
I’m not sure if that was the message of the post, but I’m glad you got something out of it anyway 🙂
Totally agree with Liz. Recently a friend came to her own conclusion about life, food and diets. She doesn’t read blogs, or spend time on the internet looking for diets nor does she have 50 million ‘diet’ books on her shelves (I am guilty as charged). She simply said to me…”I am sick and tired of worrying about food, I am sick of feeling guilty every time I eat something other people think i shouldn’t, I feel like I’ve been on a diet for more than 10 years…I am totally over it!!” She went on to say “From now on I will eat for me, I will eat to be healthy, I will exercise because I like walking and if I miss it one day, or have dessert I will NOT beat myself up”. It’s great that she was able to come to that conclusion herself.
Sounds like your friend has figured out what works for her. Bravo!
I love this post. I am such a black-and-white thinker and it gets in my way. I use it to make myself feel better, so I feel like what I do it RIGHT and what you do is WRONG. This is a very limiting belief, and I am aware of that.
I’ve been reading a lot of feminist literature lately and this post got me thinking that we (as women) are undermining ourselves every time we judge each other. We stay stuck in competition rather than supporting each other and living big, lovely lives!
Sometimes I think we get caught up in our desire to help people. If something works for us, we want others to do it too. It doesn’t always help. People have to find their own way. And the best way to help is to offer our support no matter what they choose.
Thanks for your post Katie. It reminds me of when I tried Aitkens. Even though I returned to eating my carbs after only a month or two, I now FEAR carbs. Deep, deep down inside, I know that carbs like oatmeal, bread and pasta are NOT bad for me (I’ve tested this by eating them and noticing how I feel, and I can lose weight even eating a bowl of pasta every night). I know that some people have difficulties with these foods, but MY inner guide tells me that I’m not one of these people. However, I STILL try to convince myself that no carbs is better than carbs. It’s insane! When I catch myself doing this, I know that need to centre myself and lock back into that inner guide , my higher power, that knows what’s best for me, even better than me. 🙂
We are all so different and we react to food differently. Some people thrive on a meatless diet with heaps of grains and for others carbs give them an insulin spike which lays down fat. It is all a case of trial and error, paying careful attention to your body, mind and emotions and trusting your inner voice.
Amen. I think that last sentence says it all. It’s about time the diet police realised this.
Diet Police are so last century 🙂
Well said! I realised that every time I started a ‘diet’ I would panic. And I mean really panic. So I’ve started changing some weird behaviours I have around food. I can eat anything and everything I like but just not doing some things that I used to – i.e. eating while driving, surfing the net, watching tv etc… I have to focus and concentrate and ENJOY. When I think about it, it’s still in the same vein as a diet really but it’s the only way I can manage food. I hate that food needs to be managed. You’re right, it’s just food. When did it all get so hard???