You are a woman whose heart naturally retains a void shaped by the man who was able to love you most deeply so far, even if that wasn’t deep enough to stay with him. The only cure is to attract another man whose love opens you deeper than the him-shaped void that remains from a previous man. Eventually, as your devotional capacity to offer yourself grows, you will attract a man who opens you to God’s shape through his loving.
Then your heart will retain a God-shaped void in moments when you have separated yourself from divine love. Your yearning will be to feel infinity’s claim of your heart, opening you without bounds, filling you with an abundance of presence and pleasure beyond your capacity to bear, forcing you open.
Your heart will only settle for love’s total command, and you will tolerate only a man who can offer you this divine and utter claim. His deep presence will ravish you to open to infinity’s bliss, taking you open in the he/she merger of God’s two-bodied expression of love.
~ David Deida – Dear Lover
Dear Duckfish
This time last year, I didn’t know your name, your smile or the touch of your hand, but somewhere inside of me I yearned for you.
In the quietest hours of the night, I lay awake thinking that all I wanted most in the world was to share my life with someone who was intelligent, funny, passionate, kind, and who would inspire me to do things I might never do on my own. I dared to hope that somehow you would find me.
And curiously a miracle happened. From the first words in your email, I knew that you were smart and funny, and I suspected that my ‘chaos’ was exactly what you wanted in a woman. From the first time you held me, kissed me and breathed with me, I felt like I had come home.
It was easy to fall in love with you. You were everything my dry, parched soul craved. You were the light and love in my life I had never experienced.
And when that dark day came barely a week after we had met, you proved beyond doubt that you were a warrior ready to go into battle for me. You held me while I cried, endured my angry outbursts, and kept me talking when all I wanted to do was shut down and go numb. You kept me moving forward, encouraging me to take care of the business that death leaves behind, and gently waiting when I felt lost and purposeless in strange new world.
The exquisite joy we have shared together before, during and since all that pain has surpassed my dreams of a passionate life and transformed my days into unending moments of wonder and delight. You have loved me more than I have ever been loved, you have helped me see things I’ve never imagined, you have made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe and you have made me believe I am beautiful, sexy and magnificent.
You have inspired me to be brave and vulnerable. You have taught me what unconditional love means and how it can harness the power of galaxies.
I wish they would invent better words than “I love you” because it doesn’t seem adequate. What I feel for you is more than love and beyond words. When I’m with you I become love … I can let the love in my heart overflow and somehow you take my love, mix it with your own, and send it back to me a million times magnified. Together we create this energy that envelops us and then spills out into the rest of the Universe.
So, The Last of the Mysterious Lavender Bay Duckfish, on this sacred day to celebrate love, I open my heart to you once more. I am so in love with you, and I thank the Universe that your deep presence has ravished me open to infinity’s bliss and you have opened me to God’s shape through your loving.
Happy Valentine’s Day, baby ♥
PS : Below is my Valentine’s post from last year that got deleted in the ‘great blog purge’. I’m reposting it because it will probably make you laugh …
