Not a Relationship but a Pirate Ship

When my guy was struggling and fearing “The Relationship”, I almost suggested that instead of having a relationship we should have a pirate ship.

Adventure. Booty. Breaking the rules, braving the storms. We sail wherever we want, together. ~ Kelly Diels • Cleavage

My boyfriend and I don’t have a relationship in the traditional sense of the word. There is no map for our future, no appropriate time to get engaged, get married and settle in domesticity. In fact, the thought of going through all that makes me want to stab myself.

But with no plans, no strings, no commitment comes a sense of constantly walking on a tightrope without a safety net. At any moment, at any time, this love affair could end. Either of us could change our minds in a heartbeat and we are brutally honest enough to announce our feelings immediately. The end is always just around the corner.

Oh how exciting, how wonderful, how thrilling this feeling is. Every kiss feels stolen, and every time we make love it is desperate and passionate. Every look, touch and smell is fully imprinted in our memories as insurance against the time when we are no longer together. We take nothing for granted, we live in the moment and we are overwhelmingly grateful for every second we spend together.

We both have a choice. We love each other extraordinarily, but we also know that we can be completely happy on our own. There is no “need” and no dependency so therefore we are free to choose every day to be together simply because we want to.  

I can live without you, but I am more alive when I am with you.

It feels dangerous, it feels illicit, it feels removed from what is “real” life. It is the feeling of having a glorious affair without the guilt. It is sublime to be together and excruciating to be apart. Our desire for each other is constantly inflamed by the precariousness of not knowing if we’ll have each other forever.

And in my world, that is just the way I like it – Adventure. Booty. Breaking the rules, braving the storms. We sail wherever we want, together.

pirateship T

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

7 thoughts on “Not a Relationship but a Pirate Ship

  1. Opposite experience here. I’m just so relieved to be in a relationship with someone that I can trust. The pirate ship experience reminds me of riding the high seas of emotional upheaval that was my first marriage. I even spent several years not dating just so I could relish the calm and quiet. (So I guess, we’re on a rowboat in the quiet lagoon!)

  2. I was married 23 years. It ended just like that. Now I’m in a relationship. It’s been 26 years. He could quit, I could quit. But just maybe I work harder to preserve the relationship because the “safety” of marriage isn’t there. I did find marriage no more safe than any other institution.

  3. It does sound very exciting and I can understand your reasons for not wanting commitment but to walk a tightrope without a safety net sounds like it takes an awful lot of energy. I don’t think that marriage, for me at least, is something that I take for granted, but rather I like the feeling that it is a ship on which we sail the seven seas together embracing adventure when it happens but without the pirates and their swashbuckling rowdiness!

  4. I love this pirate ship concept.

    The truth is, nobody really knows whether they will be together tomorrow or not. People like to pretend they know, they like to snuggle in a false sense of security. But security is an illusion. Marriages end every day, people pass away every day. Nothing is promised whether you’re married or not. So why not acknowledge and embrace it, like you and your guy do? Make it exciting, dangerous, passionate…


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