There is an article doing the rounds that urges people (the author is surprisingly a man) to wait before they have sex with someone new. Everyone is entitled to their preferences but I’m not known for my patience.
I met my boyfriend on a late summer’s night five years ago. Before that night, we had emailed, chatted on the phone and had a lengthy video ‘date’. I was very attracted to him.
We were meant to go out for a drink that night, but I ended up inviting him into my flat instead. We drank red wine, watched the boats on the harbour and kissed. He was (and is) the best kisser I have ever met. After suffering an excruciating ache in my knickers for hours, I ended up dragging him off to bed.
I don’t regret it for a second. First date sex is hot.
Here are 10 reasons why you should have sex on your first date.
1. You can gauge your partner’s level of libido
When I met my ex-husband, we slept in the same bed for a week before we had sex. His excuse was he was too tired, or he didn’t feel comfortable rushing things. I should have seen the red flag way back then. My ex-husband had a low libido which eventually led to a sexless marriage. If your partner isn’t keen on sex at the beginning, he probably won’t ever be chasing you around the bedroom.
2. You can check out your physical fit
Some like ’em big, some like ’em small, and some like ’em just right. If your partner has a part of his anatomy which is vastly different to yours, you might not fit together physically. This isn’t just about the size of his package, you could get squashed under the weight of his body, or stabbed to death by his protruding rib cage.
3. You can check out their technique
Too quick, too slow, too ticklish, too rough — the variations matter. How long is foreplay? What happens afterwards? Who’s on top? Lights on or off? All important information you should know.
4. You get to talk about it
Having sex on the first date means you have the opportunity to talk about sex in an open and honest way. You probably should discuss STIs, contraception and general expectations. If your partner won’t engage in the conversation or looks shocked, then you might have a problem on your hands.
5. You have an orgasm or two…
Sex is a wonderful, relaxing, pleasurable experience. Why wouldn’t you want orgasms as often as possible?
6. You can weed out the dirtbags
A small minority of men will fuck and flee, and nothing you do or say will stop it happening. It is better to find out early, than to invest lots of time and risk falling in love only to have him piss off later on. Better to know now than when it’s too late.
7. You demonstrate your attitude to sex
Initiating sex shows your partner you’re a sexual being and comfortable asking for what you want, and that you’re not interested in following some ancient, old-fashioned rules. When it comes to intimacy, you’re not going to play games.
8. You show courage
Sleeping with someone opens up your heart and leaves you vulnerable to being hurt. When you have sex without knowing what the outcome will be, without establishing if that person will reciprocate your feelings, you take a huge risk. Only the courageous are willing to take a chance on love.
9. You can make future decisions with a clear head
Prolonging the moment you consummate a relationship means all your choices are clouded by lust. Once you’re sexually satisfied, you can consider the future relationship potential of your partner without being swayed by your physical urges.
10. The look on his face
The best part about sex on the first date for a heterosexual woman is seeing the look of surprise and delight on your man’s face when you drag him into the bedroom. I believe the majority of men don’t expect to anything to happen, so when it does, they are mildly shocked but extremely pleased.
Life is too short to wait
You never know what tomorrow will bring, or how long you have left on this planet. If this person is your one true love, you don’t want to waste another minute of your life without him/her. What is there to wait for?
What have I forgotten? What other reasons are there to have sex on the first date?