You came to me at the masked ball with your face disguised. Although there was something familiar in your words, my judgment was blurred by the wine I had consumed.
You took me to a shadowed room so your anonymity was complete. We danced the dance of courtship and then the dance of foreplay.
I was thrilled by the person who held me in his arms. You spoke of things I had longed to hear of all my life. Yet all the while, we talked of dreams and illusions and never revealed who we were.
As the night wore on and the effects of wine wore off, I realised to my shame and horror exactly who you were. You had taken my own words and turned them against me. You had crafted a fantasy that you knew I would devour because you were not a stranger after all.
I have no idea how you thought this would help. Would I be so thrilled that someone had offered to be my strength in the midst of a storm that I would overlook the fact that you had taken all that was vulnerable about me and manipulated it for your enjoyment?
This is the ultimate betrayal. The small remaining strands of trust have been severed completely. Far from showing me that what I was looking for all along was right in front of me, it has convinced me that I cannot trust you at all. I feel more abused, ridiculed and exposed than I have ever felt in my whole life.
I asked for you to take off your mask, to step into the light, and you ran before your secret was revealed. Your bravery and strength evaporated in the face of your lie being exposed.
Don’t tell me lies and don’t fuck with me. The fact that you constructed this ruse makes me realise that you have not changed at all. An open heart ready to connect with divinity lives in truth not deception.
I am angry and disappointed but I am also relieved to realise that I have made the right decision to be on my own. I will forgive your cruelty but never forget it.