If you had told me last week that I would be smoke free today, I wouldn’t have believed you. I was one of those people who had a massive panic attack just thinking about not smoking any more. I have tried giving up* before and failed miserably. I even used Champix and had a cigarette as… Read More
I walk into the room and whatever is on my boyfriend’s laptop screen fades to grey. He looks at me sheepishly. “Looking at porn, again?” I ask, laughing. He shakes his head. “No,” he says. “An email from an old girlfriend. I haven’t spoken to her in years.” “Carry on,” I say, kissing him on… Read More
When I read about other people’s grief, I am ashamed. I cannot legitimately take my place among those who mourn the loss of someone they loved, someone who they miss every day and who they long to see again for just a few moments. My husband is dead, and the manner of his death was unnatural… Read More
There is a voice that whispers to me in the middle of the night, telling me my boyfriend is going to die. While he snores, while his breath is thick and heavy, I am reassured that he lives. It’s when he is quiet that I worry. I reach out to touch his back to make sure his chest is rising and falling, I watch the bedspread to make sure there is movement.