Open Forum | New

This is an open forum to chat about whatever you would like, whenever the thought strikes you and with whomever you please.

I invite you to leave a comment about personal stuff (how’s it going? what wonderful thing happened today? what pisses you off?)  ask a question (what’s a downward dog? ) start a discussion (chicken thighs are superior to chicken breast) or connect with someone (who’s going to the law of attraction seminar in Sydney on 13 Dec? ME).

I hope this will be a lively place where we can all get to know each other better.

28 thoughts on “Open Forum | New

  1. I am breaking the ice so you don’t have to be the first to comment.

    Today I am going to church voluntarily for the first time in decades. I am really looking forward to it because it is a gathering of people who are interested in spirituality rather than religion. Mr Katie says I’ve joined a cult! My mother would be horrified if she knew.

    Do you go to church regularly? Is it a different to the church you went to as a child? What is your daily spiritual practice like?

    1. Hi Katie,
      Firstly Congratulations on your EBook!!
      I did go to church as a child and it was in Italian because we lived in an Italian community and the priest intimidated everyone or so it seemed to me..I was afraid of him, but I knew God was always going to be good to me as my mother always told me! Now I go to church for my kids catechism and sometimes when I hear a sermon I feel uplifted and everything seems better at that moment. It’s true there is something about being around people who are spiritual. I wish I could meditate but my mind forgets to stay still and I never get to do it long enough to get better.
      I think people should connect with their spirituality wherever and whenever and I think it’s great you brought it up to share!
      Thanks for listening…

      1. Hi Cathy

        I was intrigued by your meditation comment. I guess it depends on your definition of what meditation is. For me, it is when you are in the zone, in the flow, when time ceases to exist and you are just ‘being’. That could be prayer, or walking or washing the dishes.

        There is no ‘right’ way and your mind isn’t required to stay still. I start thinking about things while I’m meditating and doing yoga all the time, but as soon as I remember what I’m doing I come back to thinking about my breath (which is still thinking by the way).

        If you want to meditate, just sit and listen to your breath. Don’t worry if you think about other stuff, just come back to the breathing when you remember.

        The benefit of meditation is in connecting the non-physical part of me with the physical which means concentrating on my physical state rather than planning what’s for dinner 🙂

        I hope this gives you the urge to try again. ♥

  2. The intuitive eating debate? I know where we are all coming from, but I am not sure that we can ever reclaim the innocence of childhood eating. My children are so switched on with eating, but my mum and I stuff that up by offering food I know they will not eat or by insisting they try the ‘yuck’ veggies. All in the name of ‘good mothering’ and ‘health’.

    I know that I, for one, will never have that innocence of food back again. The best I can hope for is to eat for health first and enjoyment second. That means I eat my healthy stuff first and then ice the meal with a tasty treat, if I feel like it. I over did the glucose sweets today and I came home and scoffed into a salad made from the goodies in my garden. I just did it all without thinking about it too much. Having distractions helps! It has all just flowed today. Mind you, I have no idea how the blood sugar swings will affect me tomorrow! For now, it is fine.

    Like Shelley, I am finding that I need to work on the intuitive exercise a bit more – okay, a lot more! I have replaced my ordered eating with ordered exercise.

    So, Katie, I do not think you just need to chill. You are right in that it is a new way of experiencing food and it will seem laboured at first; especially when you/we have expectations put upon it – i.e. the ideal body shape. But take away those expectations and it will flow so much more easily. Overdoing the food will be part of the plan because otherwise your body will have no idea of its own limitations and balance. It is like those who have never had their own cash. They hoarde, overspend or waste. Eventually, the novelty wears off and it all balances out. Trust, as you say…

    I would rather intuitive eating over regimented eating. I feel control and liberation at last. I see the point of planned diets etc, but my life is about me calling the shots, not someone who has never lived in me.

    Love your work.


  3. What a wonderful perspective Kate – I especially like “my life is about me calling the shots, not someone who has never lived in me”. ♥

  4. There is something that bothers me and is probably a reason why I developed an issue with the negative self image of my body. Everywhere I look there are magazine pics, videos, advertisements, tv celebrities of women who are stick skinny and then I look at myself and say hmm…if I can just lose 10 pounds I could look like that too!! (and here is where the issues develop) We don’t know what “normal” size looks like anymore if we are bombarded with those standards and our society praises the “skinny” ones-but if they gain weight everyone will talk about it-it’s aweful.
    I know I’m not a celebrity but I am a little star in my circle of friends and I wish I hadn’t worried so much about how they looked at me after I gained weight. Do you sometimes feel women around us who constantly complain about their weight or aging issues make you feel more inadequate? What do I tell myself or them so we can stop this and help ourselves without sounding rude?
    It seems I like writing on this blog better than my own.;)..thanks for listening …xox

    1. I ask myself “why would I want to look like anyone else?” If I desire to become a copy of someone else, then I deny that I am a unique reflection of the divine. As I commented before, we always compare our insides to other people’s outsides. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and we only see them when they are dolled up and photoshopped.

      When my friends complain about how they look, I always tell them how beautiful they are because of much they care, how much of a wonderful friend they are to me, and how I love their generous and loving spirit. I remind them of how I see them, so they can see themselves through my eyes.

      I love it that you hang out here ♥

  5. Hi Katie. I’ve really been enjoying your blog, and your journey. I think you’re on the right track, but what seems to be tripping you up is expectations. Intuitive eating can turn into the, “eat when you’re hungry” diet, and then you’re really back in the same boat once again. If you can really come to the point of trusting your body, then you have to allow it to be the shape and size it wants to be. Yes, that can be a scary thought. What if my mind and body don’t agree on what shape we want to be? In order for you to really be free, you have to let go of the expectation that the size you’ve decided you want to be is going to manifest itself just because that is your desire.

    I don’t know anything about the program you’ve been following, but if that is the premise, I don’t agree. There are laws of biology at work, and the amount of food we eat will most definitely affect the size of our body. Our minds can’t control that.

    This is one of the most difficult journeys there is, but also the most rewarding. Yes, we want to fast forward the process, because when you’re in the middle of it, sometimes it’s scary as hell, and confusing. Hang in there though, because once you come through the fire, you will be able to look back and see that it was worth it.

    I think that when you can come to value the freedom and peace of this way of eating more than the size of the body it can give you, then you will find it much more enjoyable and satisfying. Last night my family and I sat around the table playing Monopoly, eating Rice Krispy Treats and just enjoying ourselves. How wonderful just to enjoy my family, a yummy treat, and not be thinking of calories, etc.

    Thanks for creating this space for discussion on IE. Stay strong!

    1. Hi Sue

      I respectfully disagree that my “biology” gets to decide. I believe that I always get to choose my reality. It is not that my mind wants this, but it is the desire of my spirit. We never truly desire something that we cannot have ~ we want it because it is what is good for our evolution.

      I know women who have had recovered from years of starving and bingeing and have become naturally slender without any struggle or stress. I know that it is possible for them, so it is possible for me. I want my freedom to include crashing through the limitations we’ve all been conditioned to believe cannot be challenged.

  6. I know it’s hot in Australia but it’s snowing on my blog 😀

    I just had dinner last night and breakfast this morning with Fern (in Sydney on a flying visit). I miss my gym/walking buddy. We had the best time.

    In other news, my beautiful house is being sold out from under us so we have to move. We are going to move into the townhouse next door (asked for, given and now awaiting delivery).

    Life is G R A N D don’t you think?

  7. I was laying in bed this morning and my son saw the box of mixed choccies that I was given for Christmas. He brought them over and we lay together and ate some. I didn’t think about it. I enjoyed sampling some with him. Then…yes, then…the voice began: “Um, that is off plan. You need to do a run and all this extra lard is stopping you from trying harder.” Can you guess what happened next? Uh huh, I stopped and felt awful. Those beautiful 10 mins were wiped away in seconds.

    It got me thinking about my last visit with my gym trainer. He is 40, can do 14.4 on the beep test, is as gnarled as a 200 yr old tree (muscles, that is) and exudes a radiant energy. He listened to me patiently go on about my performance woes – basically that I am fed up with punishing exercise all for the sake of a blue collar, measley paying job that extols sublime community spirit. He just looked at me with the expression of a person who is tired of life. He is right. I AM sick of living as I currently am. I want what he has got; not the material, but the sense of loving all that I do.

    I am adamant that my children love their lives and enjoy all they do; okay, that might not extend to housework. I am not walking the talk. I suspect women generally suffer from this, especially those from terribly abusive homes. Happiness and pleasure are sullied and were only used with provisos and punishment afterwards. This is obviously my new aim – to reconnect with happiness and pleasure in all my life, not just food. But this small example has highlighted to me the need to feel delight in what we choose and, equally, what we do not choose to do. No life is immune from things we do not opt for. Finding delight that is not forced is the key. Occassionally, it will be forced in order to work through difficult situations, but the bulk of the time we can enjoy with unfetted pleasure. I don’t and it is so very sad.

    This week was a declared holiday from all activites I do not care to do. I ate what I wanted and got up when I wanted. I discovered that I dislike housework, I hate feeding my kids, I disdain extreme efforts n the gym, and probably most disarmingly of all, I am not sure I want to be a fire fighter. This is hard to face because I have spent all of 2009, and I mean all, preparing myself for entrance. It maybe a reaction to knowing I am likely to fail the physical component, but the crux of all this is that when things are enjoyed, they can be healthful and life affirming. When the less healthful activities are restrained, they tend to manifest in fantasies and overblown dreams of forbidden desire.

    The body knows when it has had too much of something and that is what childhood is all about; exploring boundaries, of food, adrenalin, heights, strength, speed, rest, and the like. That is what makes childhood so magical. Because I was robbed of most of it, I am now experiencing it with my children. This makes me irresponsible in the eyes of most other parents and older people, because I appear to lack boundaries. Yes, I do, but I am in the process of making them! Life is better lived at any stage, than repressed through fear and lack of enjoyment. One day, I may just be like my gym trainer, or maybe not. If I can enjoy more of life, then I may just radiate the glow of an inspired adult instead of the tortured emptiness of a wounded child.

    You have inspired all this, Katie. You and Shelley and Liz. What a gift for Christmas! 10 precious minutes of unrestrained joy with my son.

    Go in happiness, joy and pleasure, Katie.

    1. Hi Kate
      Do you even realise how brilliant you are? This is the most amazing thing I have read in a long time. You are so in tune to what is really going with YOU which is an amazing gift.
      You write beautifully, honestly and authentically ~ why don’t you have a blog? You can post your thoughts here any time because they inspire me to truly live my life.
      From here, your glow already radiates ♥
      PS: Can I please re-post this on my front page? I don’t want people to miss it!

  8. Hey Kate

    I can’t stopped thinking and seeing you and your son in bed eating chocolates. The smiles on your faces, the glow from your bodies, the oneness you share. It’s a beautiful thought and vision.

    And bizarely enough my Law of Attraction card today states:

    Our Little Babies Are Also Thinking Beings

    The child is thinking on the day it enters your environment. And so beliefs are easily transmitted from adults to children….

    The child is vibrationally receiving your fears and your beliefs even without your spoken word. So give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive from you only the vibration of those wanted thoughts.

    1. Good call, Shelley. I am so conscious of what gets transmitted to the kids that sometimes I am afraid to make mistakes! LOL. Seriously though, I believe the kids are my saving grace. They know when we rave on at them without walking our talk.

      By the way, I wish you and your family all the best for the coming year and the years that follow. You ever considered becoming a fire fighter? I reckon you’d have the best aptitude for it.

      1. Due to unprecedented demand, I have a blog up and crawling. It needs a lot done to it to bring it to a stage I am happy with, but up and about it is. I don’t know how to create links etc, being a Luddite of sorts, but it is http://www.thatshowidomagic.blogger or blogspot, or something to that effect. I don’t know my own mobile number, so how am I expected to remember the web address of a site I never visit?! At any rate, it is a google free blog. The only time I have to work on it is early morn, so apologies if I am taking this at snail’s pace.

  9. hey katie,

    i was thinking about you and found your new blog via your old one.. and i am really loving the layout and your new lease on life. i have been through a lot in the past couple of years, and i have done things i am not proud of, including disappearing and leaving your wonderful friendship when i left sydney.

    anyway i just wanted to say hi…


    1. Hey Donna

      Lovely to hear from you. Last I heard you were in the USA with a new man and got married??

      Life has a way of carrying us away and you should have no regrets. The thing about friendships is that they are unconditional — not matter how long you’re gone I still love you.

      Are you back in Melbourne honey? Would love to catch up when next you are passing by. I hope you are well and happy ♥

  10. well i WAS married briefly, we divorced and i am back in melbourne. it was a huge error… and i am happy to be back home.

    i have a new boyfriend who is lovely, and i am getting on my feet, but its hard.

    anyway, i would love to catch up sometime. xox.

  11. The boy with the mirrored eyes.

    There was once a beautiful young man who had the most smiley, twinkling eyes. His soul was mirrored through his eyes, so that when he looked at people, they could see the depths of his beauty. There was, however, one small problem with his eyes. He was what we would call, ‘handicapped’; his eyes were one way mirrors. The soul people saw was not really this young man’s soul, but a mirror of the beauty of others’ souls.

    When people looked at the young man, their souls were reflected back to them. The ironic gift in all this was that the young man saw the beauty in others, when they could not see it. That is why the young man was so popular and well loved. People felt loved and valued being in the young man’s attention; his eyes sparkled and smiled at them.

    The young man guessed after a while that his eyes were, infact, his handicap. He longed more than anything to be like others and to see his own beauty, but no one else had mirrored eyes like his. Others told him about this beautiful soul, but because their eyes could merely see, and not mirror, the young man could never view himself as he viewed others and they viewed him.

    If only he knew how much more special and wonderful he was! Then he would truly become the vision of his dreams, because he already was. He spent so much time searching and looking for ways to see himself that he never actually spent much time with himself.

    One day, an older woman came into his life; his female version, so to speak. This older woman suspected she had a handicap too. She got to know the young man and they became friends. She, too, had longed to see herself in the ways others saw her. She could never get what they others would say. She lacked the vision they had, but had the gift of mirroring others. It was her heartfelt desire to see her beauty too.

    The older woman stopped the young man once and they finally looked into each other’s eyes. What they saw astounded them. At first they wished to run away – fast! But they stood, transfixed. What they saw was themselves, mirrored in the other’s eyes. “Am I that miserable?”, asked the young man to himself. “Am I without laughter?”, asked the older woman to herself.

    They began to spend some time in each other’s company and it began to dawn upon them that there was more to themselves than the initial lacks they saw. They each began to feel something; not for the other, but for themselves. The beauty they saw shining from the other’s eyes was no longer of importance. The feeling they got of being beautiful by themselves for themselves was a richer depth of experience than either had dreamed of. They had expected the vision of themselves as others saw them to be fulfilling, but no! The gift of their mirrored eyes not only brought superficial joy to others in the form of mirrored self beauty, but it gave them each what they had yearned for all their lives – a rich depth of feeling themselves and the inner knowing of their beauty, which surpassed all joy of finally seeing their own beauty reflected back.

  12. Katie – MIA, busy or neither? Beginning to miss your take on the world. Take care and enjoy.

  13. hey katie, me again…

    i haven’t been here since my last comment, and i saw what happened to mr katie. i wanted to send you my love and thoughts.. i hope you are doing okay, you have a new man in your life.. i am so glad for you and i know you would understand totally how i was able to find love after a hard relationship and a mishap or two.

    i really wish i could find inspiration again. i am so fucking huge now and i just dont know how to get back on track. i feel like my happiness with my partner has come at a time when i am out of control, waaay out of control with my food and exercise… i mean, too much food and lack of exercise. i feel like at 108kgs i am too big to even begin again.

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