Make Love, Not War


From: The 4 Day Win by Martha Beck

Stage 2 ~ Contemplation ~ The Opposite of Fat is Love

One of the easiest ways to lose weight is to fall in love. People who tumble head over heels into romantic love experience their body fat melting away. It could be that you are happy so you don’t comfort eat, it could be your desire to look good naked or a hormonal reaction associated with nesting rather than anxiety.

Sometimes weight loss also occurs when you fall in love with places, activities, professions, works of art or social movements. Obviously there is no association with being naked or nesting in this case but the common emotions are appreciation and gratitude.

Create an Appreciation List

Think of someone who’s a positive presence in your life. Write down the name of this person and list at least 15 things you appreciate about this individual.

You might get stuck after a few items but keep going. Ask yourself about your person “what do I like about you, why do I love you so much, what are your positive aspects”. If you really find it hard, do a warm-up by using your cat as your subject.

turtle stepTurtle Step

Each day for the next 4 days , I’ll write down 15 things I appreciate or for which I am grateful.

My 2¢

I have had such an epiphany/mid life crisis over the past week about love and sexuality that it sparked a possibly out of character post all of its own. Check back later ~ it is scheduled to be published at 3pm this afternoon (because life is all about synchronicity).

→ Related 4-Day Win Posts
→ photo : kaibara87

*I apologise for the photo – I couldn’t resist

About Katie Paul

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing • Join the hottest group on FB → Sassy Ageless Women

0 thoughts on “Make Love, Not War

  1. “One of the easiest ways to lose weight is to fall in love.”

    I’d say heart break! Everytime I have fallen in love the weight goes on – everytime I am seperated from my man (by a long distance relationship or by a break up) I have lost weight and gotten my act together. I think when I am with someone it gets comfortable and you stop trying. Maybe I am completelky different :-S

    Maybe it’s cause I’m obese not just carrying a little extra? I dunno

    1. I realise this happens too but I haven’t figured out why.

      I think it might be that when we see ourselves through the eyes of love, instead of it making us love ourselves more, it just accentuates how much we deep down still feel not good enough.

      When that person leaves, are we are externally motivated to be more physically attractive so we can find another partner (or make the absent one love us enough to come back) and get a little relief from the self criticism?

      I guess the question is, what is the overeating giving you? A sense of connection and belonging? Would it be the same if you were dating a buff trainer?

      I don’t know the answers because I react by not eating when I’m happy and stuffing my face when I’m sad, but it is interesting to think about (and almost another whole blog post right here 🙂 )

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