The Dictator, Wild Child and the Watcher


From: The 4 Day Win by Martha Beck

Stage 2 ~ Contemplation ~ The Dictator, Wild Child and the Watcher

Yes ladies, and gentlemen, I have made it past stage 1 – pre-contemplation and now I am into stage two – contemplation.

Today’s story is about the two warring factions of good and evil, angel and devil, strict and free. On the one hand we have the Dictator who compels us to follow the strict rules of dieting and exercise (rigid control), and on the other hand we have the Wild Child who wants us to eat yummy food and lie by the pool (out of control).

The object of this exercise is to observe where the different thoughts in your head originate from and assign them to one of the two characters.

Imagine a tiny 2 inch tall dictator in your right hand and a tiny 2 inch tall wild child in the palm of your left hand. It is time to have a conversation with this imps who drive you crazy. But there is no scolding or negative feedback allowed ~ only positive words of appreciation and good intentions


Thank you so much for keeping me in control. I love it that your discipline has resulted in solid exercise habits, a strong muscle foundation and a genuine preference for healthy food.Without you I would still be lying on the couch, overweight and unhappy.

Thank you for showing me the joy of seeing the sunrise every morning. I know that you only want me to be lean, strong and beautiful and anything else makes you distressed. Look how smart you look in your photo.

May you be well, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering.

Wild Child

Thank you so much for keeping me healthy. Without your intervention, I could have easily gone down the slippery slope of anorexia. I love it that you want me to be spontaneous and free. You are the one who has kept my relationships intact, and has given me reasons to laugh.

You have taught me that resting is a legitimate past time. Thank you for your sense of adventure and your constant search for the new and interesting. I know that you only want me to be happy, healthy and free and anything else makes you distressed. Look how beautiful you look in your photo.

May you be well, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering.

The Watcher (the real ME)

I love and appreciate you both for your positive intent in my life. I would be lost without either of you. From now on we are going to work together as a team to achieve happiness, health, joy and peace. I ask that you put down the opposite ends of the rope and cease your tug of war. We are all on the same side and our combined effort will be unstoppable.

Every time I hear your voices and they are out of line, I will merely sayMay you be well, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering” to remind you that I’m in charge here. There is no need to shout at me, it won’t make any difference.

We’ll work on balance – healthy food when I’m hungry (D) and some joyful food as well (WC). Gym (D) and swim (WC). I know we can make this work.

turtle stepTurtle Step

Each day for the next 4 days , I’ll visualise my Dictator and Wild Child sides, one in each hand and I’ll offer them compassion until I can feel that I am not either one of them.

Did You Know

  • It is psychologically impossible for your mind to stay locked in a war of control when you’re engaging it’s ability to generate compassion and appreciation. This release of anxiety produces what Martha calls “Thinner Peace” and states that learning to access the place of Thinner Peace in the most important weight-loss skill in the history of the universe.
  • Practising the exercise repeatedly may alter the physical structure of your brain, so that you no longer feel the need to eat when you’re not hungry.
  • Click here to read Martha’s “Becoming the Watcher”

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About Katie Paul

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing • Join the hottest group on FB → Sassy Ageless Women

0 thoughts on “The Dictator, Wild Child and the Watcher

  1. WOO HOO!! No more work for 26 weeks. How ya feeling?? Happy New Year. xxxxx

    Your doing some really good work here. Keep it up my love.

  2. Hi Babe

    Feeling hung over thank you very much. It was probably not the best idea to combine a full moon, NYE and my last day because everyone was buying me drinks and making me super emotional.

    I am looking forward to the next 26 weeks but I am also really, really scared – I guess that is to be expected when you step out of your comfort zone.

    Hung over or not – I am proud to say the very first words of my book have been put to paper. I am on my way to whatever the Universe has for me.

    I know your year will be wonderful, exciting and scary too and as usual, we can do this together. Let’s hold hands together and say ‘fuck off fear’ ♥

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