→ List the names of everyone with whom you have ever been in love. Then write.
MY LIST of people I’ve been in love with has five names — Sean, Neil, Paul, Edward and Duckfish (not their actual names because it’s possible they might want some privacy). They are all on Facebook, so even though I haven’t seen three of them for over twenty-five years, I know how they look now they have grown older.
Sean, Paul, Edward and Duckfish are all over fifty and Neil is getting close. None of them look like older men. They all have a full head of hair, are in good physical shape and are still attractive. Their jobs include flying planes, selling cars, growing food, running a company and designing business computer systems.
Sean was my first love, when I was only sixteen. My parents forced us apart when they made me move from New Zealand to Australia. We never really broke up.
I went out with Neil in my teens. Although we never had real sex, he gave me my first orgasm. We drifted apart when I moved to another city to go to University.
Paul and I lived together in Cairns for a year in 1988. He was my first serious grown-up intimate relationship. He introduced me to marijuana, took me scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef for my birthday, and once took me to a swingers party (only once).
Edward was the man I fell in love with amidst the debris of my crumbling marriage. We were only together a handful of times. I gave him up when I fell in love with Duckfish.
Duckfish and I have been shacking up together for three years this week. He is the only man in the list, who isn’t currently married.
When I think about Sean, Neil, Paul and Edward a feeling of warmth wells up in my chest. It seems to me that love stretches across time and isn’t corroded by distance. My heart grows larger each time I fall in love. Although I’m in a loving relationship, it doesn’t stop me still feeling an odd nostalgic kind of love for these kind, gentle and gracious men from my past.
It would be an interesting thing to meet them all in the flesh again …
I hope they are happy. I hope they sometimes think of me the same way I think of them.
How many people have you been in love with? Do you
stalk follow them on Facebook? Do you still have feelings for any of them? Is there anyone you would like to meet again?