In my ‘before’ life, when I was working so hard towards being lean and healthy, I used to have a vision board filled with pictures of figure competitors. They were my inspiration. I focused on those pictures believing I would create what I put my attention on.
The law of attraction didn’t let me down – I did end up with a similar body – but instead of feeling pleased I still felt lacking and panicked that a couple of meals would snatch the look I longed for away from me.
I was always comparing myself to someone who had different genes and different reasons for wanting to look that way. I could only see the external version of that woman. I had no idea whether she thrived on the thrill of pushing her body to extremes or if she was punishing herself because she didn’t know what else to do.
When I vowed to never diet again I got rid of all those pictures and unsubscribed to the body building blogs and forums. I did something that made a huge difference in my recovery.
Women of every size
I started looking at blogs that celebrated women in all their shapes and sizes. Big women, normal women and boyish looking women all fascinated me. I wasn’t immune from comparing myself to them and sometimes my thoughts were unkind (“at least I don’t look that bad”) but most of the time I marveled at the way women could be beautiful just by thinking they were.
It has been said that wanting to look young and skinny is the domain of white woman. When I see African-American and Latino women loving their curvy bodies I am inclined to agree. Somehow white women have been taught our goal should be to look like the rail thin models on the runways in Europe.
To counteract this indoctrination, surround yourself with photos of all sorts of women. Find women to put on your vision board who don’t look anything like the ones in the magazines. Look for beauty in the swell of a breast, the curve of a waist and the smoothness of skin that has some fat under it. Look for shapes that are similar to yours and enjoy those who are different.
The suppression of feminine sexual energy
I believe that part of the reason we are told that we need to be thin and young to be attractive is it’s a way to contain our female energy. As the object of men’s sexual desire we have great power. In times past, the church kept woman under control ruling that we couldn’t be passionate and sensual without first entering into a marriage contract with a man.
These days, the pressure from the church has diminished. So instead of keeping us under control within the confines of marriage, society tells us that unless we are beautiful, young and slender, we can’t possibly be sexually attractive. By believing this lie we are giving away our power.
The truth is no matter how you measure up to the impossible standard of air brushed models; you are sexier than you think.
The only prerequisite for beauty is confidence and being comfortable in your own skin.
You deserve to be wanted, ravished and satisfied.
You are a work of art. You are gloriously intuitive, emotional, impulsive and heart centered.
Don’t let society take away from you your femininity which is a gift to the world. Every time you love someone, every time you hold someone’s heart in your hands, you transform your life and the life of those around you.
You were born with a strong female essence because you have a mission to be love and to be loved. Every day you believe that you are less than desirable you are missing out on your life.
Step into your beauty.
Claim your feminine power.