April

cupApril

It begins with an anniversary — our first date was two years ago today.

But when this day arrives, I know that ten days later it will be the anniversary of the day that changed everything.

Followed by a birthday my dead husband will never celebrate.

In April, the sound of an ambulance knocks against my nerves. The sight of a man in uniform stings like salt in a wound.

My sadness is greater than the ocean for the senseless waste of a life.

I mourn again for all the souls that have left too soon.

My gratitude extends beyond the stars for a man who understands my pain and holds it tenderly.

I’ve gained more than I’ve lost. This new love has transformed me.

But I’ve lost and I remember.

In April, I struggle. The story bursts out of its storage box demanding to be told again.

The long days of summer are over and the evening darkness falls too soon.

When April is over, I’ll be able to forget again.

{photo source}

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing

15 thoughts on “April

  1. I’m sorry April is such a shitty month for you :(. Thinking of you always, especially at this time of the year.

    Do have a lovely Easter though. Hopefully DF will give you a chocolate dick, I mean Easter egg ;).

    1. Cheers Kate — it’s always better after I get it down in words. Somehow writing it on my blog takes the sting out of the negative emotions. Thanks for the good advice though — leaving room for the sadness is important too.

  2. I’ve been thinking of you for the last couple of days because of this and wondering how you must be feeling. Now I know – love you precious x

  3. 1. Shelley makes me laugh. What a gift of a friend she is to you.

    2. You are in my thoughts Katie. I am sending all kinds of positives your way – all the way across the world!

    Love to you – enjoy your anniversary. cry some if you need too (i can’t even imagine). in either case know that you are being thought of!

    1. Shelley is absolutely the best friend in the entire history of the Universe ever!
      Thanks Jess … I’m loving your positive thoughts x

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