I stand in front of the glass display counter waiting to be served. In front of me are shelves of delicious mud cakes, cheese cake and hand-made chocolates.
I quite like a slice of cake on occasion but my true love is chocolate.
And here there are so many to choose from — strawberry hearts, white chocolate mice, and perfect dark chocolate squares with rough nutty tops.
This shop used to call my name every time I walked past. I would look at the delicious chocolates spilling out of their boxes and feel my mouth water. Depending on whether I was restricting or binging I would either avert my eyes or buy one chocolate of each kind.
Today there is no anxiety. The cakes barely catch my eye and the chocolates seem to have lost their sparkle.
The grey haired man in his white dust jacket asks me what I want.
“Just one caramello pooh bear,” I say. “Just so I can bite off his head.”
The man laughs. The heavy-set woman standing next to me doesn’t. Her eyes are wide and she looks unhappy. I think I can guess what she is thinking.
She’s just going to have a few chocolates today and then start eating better tomorrow. Or she deserves one because she’s been so “good” all week. Or maybe she knows she shouldn’t but she’s too weak to resist the craving. I know what she’s thinking because that used to be me.
But today, one chocolate is all I want. I bite off that bear’s head and taste the smooth caramello of his brains. I don’t feel any guilt, it doesn’t trigger a sugar rampage, it’s just a single chocolate on a Wednesday afternoon.
And as I walk home smiling to myself, I give thanks that I’m no longer a slave to the siren call of the cake shop.
You’ve gone soft in your old age ;).
How wonderful is it to feel free, free, freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :).
I, too, walk past the gourmet chocolate shop at the top of the hill just about everyday and it no longer calls my name. In fact I barely notice it. Occasionally I do go in but chocolate is never as good as I remember. It’s simply a nice food when that is what I feel like eating :).
Congrats babe – you did it 🙂 🙂 :)!
You’re right, the chocolate wasn’t nearly as good as I imagined it would be but I thought if I put that in it would spoil the story 🙂
PS You know the shop — the one at Greenwood Plaza — we used to drool over it when we weren’t allowed to eat that “bad” stuff.
The only thing I remember about Greenwood Plaza was that awesome feed we had when we were starving to death ;).
Yeah I remember that too … that was a good day x
Yay for you Katie! I love cakes and chocolate…and chocolate cake : ) But not too much, and not all of the time anymore!
I too bite the heads off of food that is shaped like animals. I wonder what that says about me???
Biting the heads of animal shaped food means …? I’m trying to come up with something witty and funny but I’ve got nothing!
I wish it was like that with alcohol for me-to be able to just have one and not care about another sip. There’s a chance that I wouldn’t want another, but I can’t even risk trying it out.
Glad you have conquered your demons! ;-0
Boy that chocolate looks super good though! Pretty picture. 🙂
I think abstinence is better when it comes to alcohol if you’ve been in trouble with it before.
Sorry about torturing you with that photo — you can have some after the comp though 🙂