The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

Two years ago the only thing I used to read was health and fitness blogs. I filled up on stories of weight loss, marathon running, weight lifting and figure competitions. I belonged to a community of women who battled daily to be in the best physical shape they could be.

One of those women changed my life. And today I met her in person for the first time. As we talked all I could think about was the huge influence she had in my life.

My life wasn’t turned around by her fitness advice, or by her enviable figure, my life was changed in September 2009 when she wrote a post called The Truth the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth. The author was Raechelle and her story convinced me that it was OK to admit my flaws and ask for help. Here is some of what she wrote:

Hi, my name is Raechelle and I am an alcoholic.

Well — I probably lost at least ½ of my followers with that statement. But that is ok. It was damn hard and I did it — and am pretty much in tears, again — as I write it. But it’s out there — and it’s who I am.

Yes, readers — I am an alcoholic and I have been for many years. I have struggled with this addiction on and off for 15 years.

I have lied to myself and I have been lying to everyone, including blogland, by keeping this secret. Many would say I’m a complete hypocrite for writing a fitness blog, telling other people about how to be fit, I think I’ve even written a blog about the evils of alcohol! But I have been in complete denial to myself; convinced that the next corner will be the last one to pass and I then will quit.

Why am I writing this today?
Why am I putting myself out there on the line?

Two reasons, one is a step in recovery is admitting the problem and I’ve been admitting it to myself, to John, to friends and family back home but feel the need to put it here as well — to be honest and apologize.

As well as admission, I’m looking into getting help –and well — maybe someone out there has been in this situation or is going through this and the more doors I have open, to let people in, the more I can help myself.

Also, maybe I can help someone else to admit to themselves that they have a problem.

Rachelle’s heartfelt uncensored confession gave me the courage to face my own demons. A few days later I admitted to the world that I had an eating disorder and my healing began.

You never know when writing about what happens in your life will transform another person. Not only does the writing of your darkest secrets expose them to the light of truth but it also sends ripples out into the universe.

Do you write from your heart? Are you sharing who you are? Or are you frightened that people will turn away when they see what lurks underneath?

Sometimes it takes despair for us to no longer care what other people think of us. When you run out of options, when the façade is too painful to keep up, that’s when you give up pretending and start living. That’s when the growth starts to happen.

But you don’t have to fall on your face in order for your mask to be broken. You can carefully peel it away while you’re still standing. Your raw, imperfect heart won’t be rejected by the world. Raechelle’s revelation started a tidal wave of love, support and change in herself and in others. I am so glad she wrote down her story and gave it to the world.

She made me admit to myself that I had a problem and without that first step, I never would be where I am today. Thank you Raechelle.

PS: Raechelle has been sober for two years now. She is amazing x

Tagged as: blogging, eating disorder recovery, writing