Why fear is good even though it feels bad

building a sandcastle

I signed up to do a course that will help me turn my ideas (I have millions of them) into products that help you heal and grow, and help me keep writing without having to go back to corporate world.

I have searched for a way to start an online business for years and finally this course seemed the right fit. I would give you an affiliate link but (a) the course is full and (b) I’ve only done one module so I can’t give you a complete review just yet.

But that’s not the point of this post. The point is that I’m fucking terrified.

I’m not terrified that I don’t understand the material, or that the program doesn’t work, I’m terrified that I’m not good enough and I don’t have anything worthwhile to offer the world. I’ve even thought about taking advantage of the money back guarantee and quitting.

But a few things occur to me.

  1. I’ll never know if I never try
  2. Fear means I’m out of my comfort zone which is where all growth occurs
  3. Being frightened because I don’t know what I’m doing is OK. Learning something new always means starting at the beginning
  4. If I fuck up then what is the worst thing that can happen? I’ll be embarrassed maybe, I’ll have squandered my money maybe but neither of those things will be the end of the world.

So I’m going to launch a free information product in the near future. I don’t know what about, I don’t know what format, and I don’t know who will want it. But I’m committed to doing it no matter what (did I mention that I’m scared?).

So this is my greatest fear … that I will stroke the face of suffering and make something beautiful and worthwhile from my pain and no-one will need it or want it. This terror keeps me awake at night.

Help me out. Tell me what is your greatest fear. What keeps YOU awake at night. (It can be anything — even completely off my usual topics). Telling me this will be your gift to me.  If I know your struggles, I might be able to create something that will ease your pain. Leave me a comment and let me know:

→ What is the one specific thing that you struggle with the most?

OR

→ What information product have you bought recently that has made a difference in your life?

PS: If you want to be part of the development team and give me feedback and your valuable opinion on my endeavours then please sign up to the insiders list.

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing • Join the hottest group on FB → Sassy Ageless Women

26 thoughts on “Why fear is good even though it feels bad

  1. Katie I am full of fear myself today, but not sure I can help with just one thing…

    I have a fear that I will be stuck in this job forever and that I will never make money from something I am passionate about

    I have a fear of lonliness, that maybe I will never find someone special…

    So much fear today, so it was quite co-incidental that you wrote about fear today…

    It’s great that you are battling your fear head on!

  2. When I started my online business, I almost didn’t. I was so scared that it would be so much work and nobody would buy anything. The day my first real order came through, I was beside myself. I really did think that nobody would want what I sold or that the way I do it (online only, not in shops) would put people off. My next step is going to be facing the fear of employing someone to help me with the business as it is getting too big for just me to run it. That’s freaking scary.

      1. 😀 I would totally go for it, except that it’s the picking, packing, sending and inventory side of things I’m hoping to farm out. I already have my accounts and tax (brrr) being done in Liechtenstein – copies of MYOB whizzing across the world on flash drive.
        Oh, the last ‘information product’ I bought was ‘unprocrastination’ by Leo whatsit from Zen Habits. I have not read it, having realised that this would just be further procrastination as regards dealing with my procrastination issues.

  3. I struggle if I have no direction. But the things that will give me that direction seem to stress me out. I’m afraid that being a mother/provider is not enough.

    I’m also fearful of decision making at the moment. Either can’t make my mind up or worried I will make the wrong decision. I have anxiety issues so that’s probably not helping!! 🙂

    Anyways, thats what I’ve been thinking about today. Will probably blog about it in next couple of days.

  4. I struggle most of all with alcohol and using it as my comfort when the day is through and i am done with giving. Haven’t found much that helps yet apart from a community of people with same problem. My mother died estranged and from liver disease and imagining the same happening to me keeps me awake at night.

    1. Maybe there is a way to find comfort that is better than alcohol? Perhaps the key is in the fact that you spend all day giving? I understand your fear. Thanks for sharing it with me/us.

  5. Hello “fucking terrified” ;). Me too. Been fearing making the decision about choosing my direction – psychology or tcm but finally today I’ve made it and it feels fantastic. I feared disappointing others. Feared making the wrong decision. Feared my life purpose actually.

    Fucking hope I’ve made the right one :).

    1. Did you see the Universe today?
      “But what you can’t yet see is that all of the hallways beyond all of the doorways eventually lead to the same great room, in the same great house, with the same great party.”

      There are no wrong decisions, just decisions. I’m sure you’ll benefit no matter what you choose. And you know how to trust your intuition so it will all work out exactly the way it is meant to. Thanks for letting us into your thoughts.

  6. What I struggle with the most is body image and worry about how I eat or what physical activity I do will affect it.

    I’d love to be involved in the development whether it be by filling out a survey, participating in a focus group, etc. Let me know!

  7. I’d say I struggle most with fear of failure. It paralyzes me and stops me from doing so many things that I want to do. I think to myself that I should start drawing and painting again or that I want to begin a business as a health coach even though I’m only 19, but fear of failing stops me from making any move. I also struggle with communicating my development with the people in my life like my parents, friends, and even on my blog. I’m making a lot of progress, but I often struggle to explain what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and how it has affected me. Probably because I’m afraid they will think it’s strange or that my development will set me too far apart from them and we won’t be able to connect.

    Oh! The last big obstacle in my life is probably my strong tendency to compare myself to others. I look at other women’s success, whether it is with their bodies, their healthy diets, or their great careers and while I feel inspired, I also feel jealous and discouraged, like I will never have what they have.

    I am working on all of these things and I’m slowly making progress, but if any of these inspire you, Katie, I’d certainly love your input and advice.

    xx

    1. Thanks for your honest response Grace. Perhaps you were designed to be different and should go with the flow? … unique is fascinating 😀

      1. Yes, I think I’m realizing that more and more : ) Most of the time I feel great about my difference, but sometimes the horrible doubts and comparisons creep in. But like I said, I’m making progress : )

        Thank you for your kind words <3

  8. I used to think it was fear of failure, but have realised lately that it’s much bigger than that. It’s the fear of humiliation that comes from failure. Being judged by others. Some days it cripples me, others I do it anyway.

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