I spent a long time thinking that relationships should be the variety that my parents have — a polite, comfortable, solid, long-term, come hell or high water kind of love.
When I got married I thought I was signing up for one of those kinds of relationships. We were friends, we lived in the same house, we didn’t really fight (until the end) and there was a comfortable familiarity knowing that we would stay together till death us do part.
But something was wrong. There was an emptiness that couldn’t be filled by travelling the world, succeeding at work, sculpting my body into a size eight or being able to buy whatever I wanted. I never felt like I belonged, I never connected with another human being.
Now I seek love.
I seek the man who will
– love me when I am irrational, emotional and chaotic
– hold me when I cry, when I laugh, and when I am angry
– delight in my flesh, my brain, and my ambition
– take what I have to give with amazement that I would give it to him
– kiss me without needing anything more and as the prelude to more
– know my body’s response to touch better than I know myself
– breathe me
– hold my vulnerability in his hands and allow nothing to wound it
– tell me I am beautiful, amazing, inspiring, funny and smart
– be kind even when I’m not and strong even when I’m not
– live in the moment never taking for granted that we’ll be together tomorrow
– meet me with his heart, his body and his mind
– make love with me, fuck me, play with me, snuggle with me, sleep with me
– let me go and make me stay
– stand in the midst of a hurricane and let it pass right through him
I cannot thank the Universe enough that I have found that man.
Don’t settle for comfort.
Don’t ignore the emptiness.
Seek love.
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Katie, you rock. This post put in words exactly the kind of relationship I want for myself. Thank you for letting me know that it’s more than ok to want real, passionate love.
I wish I could package up a lovely man and send him to you
oh, I wish so, too… : )
Ow, I got all fuzzy wuzzy, goosebumpy reading this.
Me too – glad I have found that man and glad you have found him too.
Duckfish – you rock
Dave rocks too — give him a kiss from me for looking after you so well x
I don’t know what to write. Ugh I feel like I pick the wrong partners.
Don’t worry, I bet every woman who is now with her soulmate has stories to tell about the wrong ones. Our mistakes teach us so much. Continue to seek love and the right man will meet you where you are.
It’s eerie how similar we are…as are the paths that we’ve traveled. I am off-the-walls grateful for Tim…whom you describe so well
Maybe you’re a lost relative … I have a few of those. Thank you Tim for being one of the good guys x
Truly – you have just described my husband, I am blessed. x
You are indeed a lucky woman x
What a beautiful reminder/wake up call to the spirit that yearns for more than we have been told, or sold with regard to relationships, any relationship. Thank you for putting into words what my heart seeks.
You’re right, all relationships should flow with unconditional love.
Catching up. What a wonderful post. A brilliant reminder when feeling blah about the man (or lack of) issue. Now I just need to allow the Universe to send him to me.
Hey Erika — I must have missed your comment
The Universe has him all picked out and ready to go I’m sure. Not long now …
It’s amazing how you’ve managed to string this list together as if I were destined to find it. You’ve just summed up what my heart has been yearning for… Thanks also for mentioning about the wrong ones. I’ve been through a slump of wrong ones these past two years and really needed the encouragement of this post the comments the accompanied it. Thank you very much!
Hi Debbie — thanks for leaving such a nice comment. I wish you success in finding the right one that’s perfect for you.