I’m tired of the self-love hippy shit — give me something concrete

I read a lot about self-love and self acceptance. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in the same clichés. I’m guilty of talking about abstract hippy shit myself.

I’m one of the lucky ones who has done it. I have transformed from someone full of self-loathing to self-love without therapy and without medical intervention. So what did I do?

Quite simply, I changed my mind. How we feel about ourselves is based on the voice(s) in our head that comments on whatever is going on.

“You’re too fat”

“You’re so lazy”

“You don’t have any discipline — you’re useless”

I had that voice. It was criticising me all the time.

So this is what I did. I bought a beautiful silver bracelet (for $5 from the op shop) that was easy to get on and off and I put it on my wrist. Every time I had a destructive thought I would take the bracelet off and put it on the other wrist while at the same time saying “the sky is blue and my potential is as unlimited as the sky”. 

I blogged about this a long time ago (2008) on my old blog. I just found it and I think I said it perfectly the first time.

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The SKY is BLUE 

When I have negative voices in my head telling me I’m fat, or I’m lazy, or I’m a failure, instead of saying “Stop” or “Shutup” or “F*ck Off” I say “The Sky is Blue”.

Reprimanding or scolding myself is nearly as damaging as the original thought. So instead, I think of something completely neutral.

If I can, I look up at the sky (if I’m outside) or out the window and marvel at the infinite wonder of the sky. Even if it is raining or it is dark, I know that the sky is still blue somewhere in the world.

This is enough to change my thought pattern to something else ¹. Recently I have added an extra sentence.

“The sky is blue, and I have limitless potential”.

You can tag on your own short affirmation to these 4 powerful words :

The sky is blue
… and I am successful
… and there is nothing I cannot do
… and I have amazing strength
… and I am wonderfully made

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This honestly works. There came a day when the bracelet stayed on the same wrist the entire day. Then for days at a time. Eventually I no longer needed to pay attention to my negative thoughts because they had disappeared.

Seriously … I don’t think punishing, critical thoughts about myself at all. In fact, when I was walking home tonight I was marvelling at how much I love my body — the size it has settled at, my shape, my strength, my fluidity and openness. The voice that tells me I’m not good enough physically is long gone.

Maybe I should take up the practice again with that voice that tells me I’m not creative enough or talented enough to be a writer …

→ What did you do to silence that negative voice in your head? Have you got any practical tips to share?

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Tagged as: eating disorder recovery, limiting beliefs, thoughts