I’ve always struggled with meditation. David Deida says that feminine essence is about being filled and masculine essence is about being empty. Meditation is becoming empty. Or so they say.
This week I have been meditating according to the principles in the Presence Process. It involves sitting with the emotions of fear, anger and sadness and being with them unconditionally — watching how it feels in your body like watching a bird in a tree, listening the same way you would listen to a song on the radio.
It’s been interesting. Sometimes my mind goes off on the story of why I feel these so called “bad” emotions and I have to remind myself I am not my story.
Sometimes the negative emotion keeps disappearing and I have to work to get it back. It reminds me how fleeting they are when I don’t attach a story to them.
Sometimes I get so peaceful and centred that I forget all about holding fear, anger and sadness in my awareness. Technically I’m doing it wrong.
But I’m not. The joy of a spiritual practice is in the unknowing, and the “way” is found at our very core, not through a prescribed practice. Showing up is the doorway. An intention to connect with our essence is all that is required.
Whether it is becoming thoughtless or concentrating on a thought, feeling peace and joy or experiencing sadness, anger or fear, whether it is yoga or sitting completely still, the actions (or inaction), the thoughts and the feelings don’t matter.
It is just doing something. It is having time to be, think and feel. It is being who we are without a story, a mask, or an outcome.
If you’re like me you’re doing meditation wrong. But that’s exactly the way to do it.
→ photo : freaking science