→ art by Kristin Noelle
After I finished writing yesterday’s post on the three types of deep love strategies between couples, it occurred to me that we could apply the same principles to self-love.
A quick refresher on how to work out your deep love strategy. Answer this question :
In order to know you are totally loved it is necessary for you …
- to be taken places and bought things or to be looked at with that special look? (visual) OR
- that you hear that special tone of voice or those special words? (auditory) OR
- is it necessary that you are touched in a certain way or a certain place? (kinesthetic)
You can only choose one to be your deep love strategy — not all three!
In order to feel love for ourselves we should fire off our own strategies each day as well. This might explain why some self-love strategies work better for some than for others.
Visual
In order to increase the love you have for yourself you need to surround yourself with pretty things — flowers, ornaments, art etc. Walking outside and seeing the beauty of nature will nourish you. You spend time on your appearance and like to look attractive. When you look in the mirror, practice looking deep into your own eyes with loving acceptance. You self-love strategy is connected to what you see.
Auditory
As an auditory person you enjoy meditation, affirmations and music. The sounds of your life are important to you and they need to be harmonious. Singing in a choir or playing a musical instrument would also be a way to love yourself. You probably hang on to what people have said to you … let it go. Your self-love strategy is connected to what you hear.
Kinesthetic
You are all about tactile things. From snuggling up in a warm blanket, to feeling the sand between your toes, touch makes you feel good. Having a massage and taking a hot bath will make you feel so much better. You self-love strategy is connected to loving touch.
→ So what do you think? Do the things that you do to take great care of yourself tie in with your deep love strategy?
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
What if my deep love strategy doesnt seem to match the self love strategy?
Should they be the same? Or could they be different?
Thanks x
I’m not sure — I only made a leap on logic not based on any solid teachings. But I am inclined to think they are the same …
Think about how music makes you feel, or the sounds of waves on the shore, birds, hearing your kids laugh … do these things invigorate you most and make you feel loved by the Universe/God/Spirit/High Self? I don’t know, I guess what works for you works for you in the end.
Wow, I love this. But I wonder–do you really need to choose only one category? I’ll maybe need to read the post that inspired this one to see fully why that might be the case in terms of loving someone else, but I think it’s probably very reasonable to offer yourself self care in all three of these categories–either a bit from each category each day, or in cycles as you feel the need/draw. Whatever, I love this concrete way of thinking about what kind of self care might be most effective–it explains a lot, and it’s just generally fascinating to consider.
The whole ‘choosing one thing’ is problematic for most people. We all like ALL of the things (just like we like our partner to show us love all three ways) but to drill down to what is most important you have ask yourself “If I could only do one thing for myself today … what would it be?”
Doing a bit of everything is brilliant, but when you’re out of time and out of ideas perhaps go for the one that has the most significance for you. ♥
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