Top of the Class

source: fine art painting | artist : chin h shin

I had two assignments handed back to me on the same day. One was an essay analysing the first page of a novel and the other was my own attempt at writing a fictional short story. One of them got a distinction+ and the other a pass (the marking scale goes from low to high : pass-credit-distinction-high distinction).

Both of them were writing, but the essay was good and the story was a bit crap really.

In my previous life I would have been horrified at a pass and been left doubting that I had any talent at all. I would have considered scraping by as an indication that I should always stick to what I know — the factual stuff I’m good at and I suck at being creative.

So for my final assessment in documentary studies I had the choice of an analytical essay of an existing work, or creating my own work. The sensible thing to do would be to choose the essay because I knew how to do it and I would get a great mark.

But I didn’t. I chose the creative option. I decided to create a documentary of my own rather than de-construct someone elses. It was something I had never done before. I was an absolute beginner and I had no way of knowing if I was any good so it was a huge risk. More than once throughout the process, I thought about changing my mind and just writing an essay. But I resisted the urge and kept on going.

The result was Suicide Widow which I am very proud of. I learned more about myself, the creative process, and my ability to express myself by scaling the steep hill of the learning curve than by doing what I am good it.

Go to that scary place where you are a beginner. Take a risk that you might fail miserably and make a fool of yourself. Don’t always rely on feeling good about yourself for doing things that come easy.

Take the hard road. Go in a direction you’ve never been before and resist the urge to turn around and go back to the familiar. It’s exciting and rewarding beyond anything you could image. Top of the class isn’t the only measure of success.